Be the Butterfly

Long Time No Blog

2006-08-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

It sure has been a long time since I've blogged anything. Life has been very busy this month. My friends kids were visiting from Scotland, Angel has up'ed a belt in Tae Kwon Do, the list goes on and on....

I am still holding between 180 and 185 I'd like for this plateaux to go away now... I am happily comfortable in a size 12. I'd love to claim my spot in the "Century Club" however I dont want to do that until my plateaux is lower than 183. So with my eyes closed and my breath heald I step on the scale slowly peaking with one eye then the next and sigh... as I am bouncing around between 95 and 100 lbs GONE FOREVER... Frustrating as it seems to be I never forget that even if I am stalled I am still stalled almost 100lbs from where I started. Besides... Maybe this will give my poor skin a chance to catch up :) (you know something about lemons and lemonaid)

On the Food-ern front I am am still battling the food demons on a daily basis. I figure this will be a life long process and I have good days and bad days... I really do wish I had issues with food. I can eat bigger portions I guess in the size of a small sandwich. I am still in awe of the size of the food and am very happy about that. Grazing as been a bit of an issue the last week or so. I am getting back on track.

Anywho, Have a great day!

Fly DISCOVERY Fly

2006-07-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were interested and you do not have NASA TV on your cable network... You can go here to watch Discovery Launch. Please pray for the Astronauts and thier families that there is a safe, successful flight. This picture listed is of last years Discovery Mission.

STS-121 crew members:

Pilot Mark E. Kelly
Commander Steven W. Lindsey
Mission Specialists:
Piers J. Sellers
Michael E. Fossum
Lisa Nowak
Stephanie Wilson

Go Discovery!

I am so upset

2006-07-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

I had my son at a very young age. I was only 19 when I had him and his father was 18. Both of us too young to take on such a huge responsibility

I have been charged with the monumental task of raising a son. Apparently I am to do this on my own, either for me or for him. This job is the most important job that anyone can be given. I have accepted this task and hope that I do as God needs me to do with him. Heaven knows, it can be difficult. Now during this time, life is not about ME its about ANGEL. It’s my job to ensure that he becomes a good man, husband, and father. I take my job very seriously. With Angel it’s pretty easy; he is a great kid and has a fantastic heart. I just need to keep him focused.

In the 13 years that Angel has been mine his father has been mostly absentee. There has always been a standing offer to him to be apart of Angels life and I have always honored his requests to see his son. This has not been due to any need that I have had because if it were up to me I could care less if I ever spoke to him again. But my son needs his father… therefore; I try and make sure that his father is always given the right to see him. We moved to California, Angel wanted to make sure his dad knew were we were so I hunted him down. Finding him living only 5 minutes away from us for more that three years and no contact from him what so ever. My father has worked in the same place for 20 years! No contact there either. There has been no court order! I don’t have to allow visitation! I have not insisted on child support!

When I was contacted after a 3 year absence by him I said it’s about time. I let him go to another friggen state to visit. Not only was that it for 6 full weeks! Then the next summer and then spring break. There is no court order for me to allow visitation and I have never pressed the issue of child support. Money has never been a requirement to his visits.

I have watched my young son cry himself to sleep because he thought his father hated him. I would always tell him that his dad loved him but sometimes it took a little time for people to realize their responsibilities. I would tell him stories of when he was an infant and his dad would take care of him and play with him. I created a photo album of pics of his father and family and himself. I have told him stories of when his dad and I were first dating. Later I watched my son wonder what he did wrong to make his dad go away. Recently I have seen the next phase. Now he is getting pissed.

His father has a new family now. I know his new wife and she is awesome. I think she is the reason that Angels dad has made contact. She has made Angel feel welcomed in her home and from the conversations I have had with her has put my mind at ease that she does care for him. For that I am eternally grateful! They were recently blessed with a child of their own. I am happy for them. But since the new baby has been born (back in may) Today was the first day “dad” has called. My son has been pretty upset about it. So upset in fact that he opted out of calling him on father’s day. And to top it off when Angel went for spring break they took a family trip to Vegas and after having a drink (or two maybe) He actually told my son he was tired of me asking for money. Yea I’ve asked but who the hell says to their child “I’m tired of someone asking me to take care of you.”

Today he actually said to me that my son needs to call him… WHAT! I don’t think so. The person needing to make an effort is the grown up not the child. I wish I had said - grow the F--- Up and take care of your responsibilities. You are the man and my son does not need to prove anything to you. For years he has loved you even though you weren’t there. He has regarded the times he has had with him highly. Now is the most important time for the child to have his father. And you need to take this seriously and realize that you need to fix what you have broken and it takes more then phone calls and plane tickets. It takes thinking about your children and how they feel, and realizing that they rely on us as the grown ups! Not the other way around! It takes being a MAN!

I want nothing more than for my son to have a good healthy relationship with his father. I have tried for 13 years. I am out of it now. Angel is old enough now to make up his own mind. I am going to support my child’s stance on this. What ever he decides…

I could go on and on but there is not enough space on the internet for everything that I could say.

Texas RV Travel: USAer Blog

2006-06-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

Its that time again.... Time to visit my new tenant. It's always so hard to choose just one from the line up of great blogs. Cybercelt over at Texas RV Travel: USAer Blog has a fantastic blog detailing all the wonderful things to do in my native state. So Go on over and check it out. See what Texas has to offer. I know we are going to go to those caverns this summer...

My Blog-Lords

2006-06-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

Well I have been blessed to grace the coveted "Renter" spot on a couple of blogs. Both of which I am excited to have been accepted on. Give'em a click and say hello :)

Having a family full of Navy Men and many friends currently serving or having completed thier tours in all branches of the service, I am adament about supporting our troups. They sacrifice so much to serve. Stop on by and let this dedicated service man know we appreciate his service

Beth over at Ramblings of an undisturbed mind is hilarious. I have received many hours of entertainment reading her blog. It would be a shame not to enjoy it.

Dont forget to tell 'em who sent 'cha :)

June Pics are In

2006-06-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

You know when I look back at my before pics and compare them to the current ones I look at me before and its hard to believe that was me. In addition to lbs and lots of them, I have lost quite a bit more.....

Aching back
Sciatica
Easily winded
Painful Knees and Ankles
Self loathing
Sleep Apnea
Shame
Depression
Self Pity
Lots of Cloths :)

Things I have found along the way:

My feet
My face
Desire
Self Esteem
Self Worth
My Breath
My Voice
Joy of Shopping
Life outside the house
HOPE

I have to say that WLS has been the second best decision I have ever made. And if anyone asks... I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Go by Shrinking Beauty to see the 6month pics

Unrequited Love

2006-06-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I told you about the crush I had on that wonderful guy right…. Well, it is obviously not reciprocated as he has started dating this girl and apparently she is pretty cool. I guess I will just have to shuck this off as Unrequited Love…

One day, when God see’s fit, I’ll find him and he’ll find me.

SEE Food Diet

2006-06-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

Good Googly Moogly!

Yesterday was one of the worst food days I have had since surgery... I was on the SEE food diet... If I saw it I ate it.... YIKES!!!

I ate half a chicken breast, 1/4 hamburger steak w/gravy and mushrooms, three lahvash pinwheels (which equals half a sandwich with wrap instead of bread), 1 deli turkey wrap (made at home with small tortillas), 4 sugar free cookies and about 8 french fries.... All of which was about 2 hours apart....

I have heard conflicting stories about how we are supposed to eat post op... One is small meals multiple times a day and the other is only 3 meals a day forgoing snacking... I guess I should decide what is best for my body in particular and prior to surgery the 3 meals +1 snack is usually what worked best for me... I have tried the other and gained weight (even with making good food choices).

All I know is I didn't like yesterday at all... today however it took 4 hours before I even got hungry enouph to eat breakfast.... Well, good days and bad days are bound to happen.... I just don't want to fall back into the horrible habits that I had prior to surgery...

Welcome Home Gi Gotti

2006-06-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

Although we may not all agree with the war in Iraq right now we still have thousands of dedicated men and women who have sacrificed alot to serve and protect our country. One such gentelman over at Across the Pond has just returned home from an extended stay in Iraq.

It would be awesome if we could all go Across the Pond and welcome him home. Lets show him some love :)

Speaking of Funny Words

2006-06-20T04:11:00.000-07:00

Jerry has a word game called Twist My Words Thursday Stop on by and give it a shot... Its lots of fun

The Funniest Word

2006-06-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever run across a word that is just plain fun to say? My son and I were joking around and I called him a Nincompoop. Of course I was just kidding! He asked me what it ment and I said Look it up! It was then that we found the mother of all fun words!

NINCOMPOOPERY

Its funny when you say it, its funny when you hear it... Its just plain funny.

Nincompoop means a silly, foolish or stupid person (from dictionary.com).

I dont remember right now why the definition of this word was not directly in the dictionary but based on the roots definition I will assume (not to make an ass out of you and me) that nincompoopery is the act doing something silly, foolish or stupid. Or its silly, foolish or stupid behavior.

I’ll use it in a sentence: “I’ll have none of your nincompoopery”

What is your favorite funny word?

Daddy's Girl

2006-06-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

I have taken pride in the fact that I have always been and remain the poster child for "Daddy's Girl" My father is a wonderful man who has always put his children first. I'd like to tell you a little about him....

One night the decision was made... a family would no longer be a single unit. There would be two households sharing one child. That child, a wee lass just the age of 5, was me. My Mother knew that she would not be able to provide for me as she needed to at that time so she decided to leave me with my father (issues from that we can talk about later). My father, being the incredible man he was, without hesitation accepted and so it began. My father was now a single parent of a small daughter. Over the course of the next 15 years he sacrificed in every aspect of his life. He was passed up for promotions at work, he did not spend time with women, he dedicated his life to making sure I was ok.

My father had always wanted a family. One day he met a woman and they fell in love. I was 11 by this time. Together they had three beautiful children (all boys). Unfortunately, my step mother decided that my father needed to pick the life he had with her or his first born. At this point he made a decision... one that profoundly affected 6 people not just him. He chose me! Not that he didnt love his new family but he being bound by the bonds of fatherhood would not abandon me (like so many before him). I was 16 at the time...

Since then he has worked his fingers to the bone to provide for me and my brothers. Never complained and never married or even dated again.

My father sacrificed his desires to ensure that I had a foundation.

I have always been very close to him and even today he sacrifices himself for the good of his children and grand children.

I only wish that I could do the things I'd love to do for him. He has and always will remain an inspiration to me... I am a better woman, mother, friend because my father never left me. So to you Daddy I say with all of my heart

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

You are the best in the entire world!

(artwork created at Art.com)

My Life In Italy

2006-06-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment to welcome my new renter. She is an American living in Italy (Which is What I want to do) I will be reading her blog as she describes how it really is. Take a moment to find out and see the beautiful pictures she posts of the places she goes.

One Day At A Time

2006-06-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

It seems this week is testing me pretty hard. I am diving head first into a battle of wills with my omipresent Food Demon and this time he brought the snack bug with him. I have been fortunate in that I have not experienced Dumping Syndrome to date. In the past I have been good about not eating the wrong things but now its hard. I have (unfortunatly) found that sugar does not hurt... this is in some ways disappointing to me because I was hoping for it to cause problems. That way it would be easier to say no. It would come from fear of being ill in lue of having to come from my waning will power. But I will Succeed in this particular battle and ultimately I know I will win the war its just so hard when these old enemys creep back up after having been gone for a long time. Funny thing is as just about the time the Food Demon reared his ugly head the Mr. Nicotine followed suit.... I am still a non smoker but I sure did have a very difficult battle the other day. All I can say is I am still taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME!

New Look

2006-06-15T02:52:00.000-07:00

What do you think of the new template?

A new crush

2006-06-15T00:30:00.000-07:00

I am in total crush mode right now. There is this man who works here in my building. We are kind of co-workers in that both of the groups we work in work pretty closely together yet we don’t work together. I know it makes no since but… First of all he is very nice, good looking, Italian, hard working, dedicated father, and much more. We have a great rapport when we are together. And the amount of things we have in common borders on scary…

We shared a hug a few weeks ago it was our second. We lingered there for a moment and when I walked away I could feel his heat still against my body. It was so intence I put my hand on the sensation just to keep it. The hug took my breath away. Even in thinking about it now I can feel him against me. Also, Just two nights ago he was teaching me about digital photography and working my video camera and when we went outside to enjoy the full moon and taking pictures with different settings he was standing behind me. I could feel his breath on my ear and I have to say this sent my pet tummy butterflies soaring. I wanted to lean into him. Restraint has become a big word in my vocabulary lately.

Now I could just be wishful but I often feel like he may also feel the same way. Our eyes have met on a number of occasions resulting in a smile. We have both done the “casual” touch on the arm or leg when sitting next to each other.

We have so much in common (He even said so with a smile) here are some of the major outstanding things I have noticed

Music: Our radio stations are programmed almost identically we have KSBJ (Christian radio on #1) and many more similarities. We both bought an MP3 stereo for the car that has a remote (just a bonus we don’t use them). I searched for months finding the artist who performs “Freaks of the Industry” and the CD. In a casual conversation he mentioned that he loved that song but didn’t know who sang it. I burned him a copy of the CD. :)

Interests: we share quite a bit of common interests especially when it comes to the kiddo’s… I just know we would have lots of fun :)

Sex: yes, we have had conversations about sex and some of the things we have done in the past and without getting into too much detail let me just say that we both enjoy quite a bit of the same activities… I’ll leave it at that :)

I so wish I could read his mind… at least the part about whether or not he is interested in at least getting to know me. That way I wouldn’t have to live in uncertainty. I just want the chance to get to know him better outside of the office as we are quite limited here. So I am patiently waiting for him to ask me out.

Do you think I'm Crazy?

May Pics

2006-06-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

Hop on Over to Shrinking Beauty for the May Pics

Long Time No Read

2006-06-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

Well, Its been a very long time since I've blogged about my WLS progress or anything really pertaining to it hasnt it? I have hit a couple of plateaus and its pretty disappointing to me. I am (I think) avoiding posting about these mostly because in a small way this blog holds me accountable and if I don’t tell my online blogger friends that I am not following all the rules like I was so planning on then I don’t really have to answer for it. I know… I know… that’s crazy! So here is a brief update and a promise…

I am currently at 188 according to my scale that puts me at a total loss of 95 lbs. This is absolutely FANTASTIC and I am truly excited about it. I know this does not look like a plateau but I stayed at 200 even for weeks and this last 12 lbs just started falling off when I got back to the gym. I not only have lost 95 lbs (5 more to the century mark) I have dropped from a size 24/26 to a 12/14 (mostly 14) pants and a 16/18 shirt. I thank God every day for this life saving surgery and I pray I won’t mess it up.

I read an article in people magazine about Carnie Wilson… The most famous Gastric Bypass Patient on earth it seams and she at least let me know that the things I have been going through are normal (not an excuse just reassurement) She will be on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club Reality show. She dropped the 70 lbs she gained during her pregnancy. Anywho back to the subject that I am so avoiding…

FOOD

I have been working out. In most cases three times a week for at least 6 weeks. I do yoga on Thursdays, cardio on Tuesdays and Saturdays and resistance training on Tuesdays. I just went to my first hi/lo class and I am in pain but I made it all the way through with only a couple of stops along the way (before I wouldn’t have made it 5 minutes) so this portion of my lifestyle change is beginning and getting stronger. I can actually feel myself wanting to go to the gym even on the days that my son doesn’t have Tae Kwon Do. That’s amazing because I have always in the past avoided the gym at all costs. I look forward to moving into the state my Soul Sister is at… she is very dedicated to working out and this works to inspire me to do the same…

I know that I have been given a wonderful tool, not a magic potion or a miracle cure (although miracle seems quite fitting) and it is up to me to change my habits and I am making slow progress in doing that. I have abstained from all sugar (until most recently) and still go sugar free the majority of the time. I eat lots of protein or at least I try. But it seems the “snack bug” has crept up on me once again. I snack better but I am still snacking. Stuff like cheese, crackers, raisins, fruit, veggies, etc… I will occasionally have chips and salsa (at the Mexican restaurant) but I don’t buy these things for my house. The “Head Hunger” has slapped me in the face again and I guess its going to be hard to fight it.

Images:

Clocks

Measure

Gym

Happy Memorial Day

2006-05-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that we gather with our families to eat, drink, play… But why do we do this? Memorial Day is more then just an excuse to gather around the grill. We can never forget why we are able to celebrate family…. The fallen soldiers… those brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Laugh
Play
Shop
Sing
Wish
Drive
Joke
Complain
Pretend
Tell it like it is
Dream
Dance
Give

These are just a few of the things that I take for grated every day. Things that without the dedication and sacrifice of the many men and women who served in our nations military. People who decided that their purpose in life was to protect their families and the country they love.

I give thanks for these courageous men and women often and today is the day in which we should all take a moment to embrace our veterans and pray for the current enlisted men and women and give thanks to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country!

THOUGH IT MAY SEEM LIKE IT YOUR SACRIFICES ARE APPRECIATED.

Image:
Memorial Day

Delightful Chicken Salad

2006-05-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

I was recently making lunch for myself and a co worker and I created the following Chicken Salad... It was delight ful!

Ingredients:
2 boneless Skinless Chicken Breast (Boiled and cubed)
2 stalks celery (deveined)
2 green onions (chopped)
1/2 medium apple (finely chopped)
2 tbl slivered almonds
4 tbl light mayo
1 bag spring mix greens
Salt & Pepper to taste

Directions:
Combine all ingrediants except spring mix until evenly blended. Serve on a bed of spring mix.

This is a great recipe for a sunday afternoon pic-nic in the park.

It's A Girl

2006-05-28T03:49:00.000-07:00

It seems that My mother and I were mistaken.... My new baby kitty is not a boy! Its a Girl!!!!!

Angel and I have decided to name her Phoebe

My Inner Simpson

2006-05-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder which simpson you'd be? Meet Lyssa Simpson :)

Create Your Inner Simpson here!

My New Baby

2006-05-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I have to share my new baby with you! My mother rescued this angel when its mother abandon him in her garage....

Man its hard to take a picture of yourself and a kitten with a cell phone....

Isn't he the most adorable thing you have ever seen? His name is Toby Jack... He is only 3 weeks old and is still eating from a bottle....

I LOVE HIM!

Hair today.... Gone tomorrow

2006-05-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, I knew prior to starting this journey that hair loss is a very likely possibility... and even knowing this could not prepare me for the actual loss. I guess being the eternal optimist that I am, or you could call it denial if you'd like, I figured the age old scenario would apply to me that being

"Nah, It Wont Happen to me"

Boy was I sadly mistaken. I am actually loosing hair at an alarming rate. I take my vitamins two to three times a day, I eat protein, protein, protein.... the thing that I have had trouble with from the beginning is water however I am doing much better lately. Have a look at my receding hair line.....

The good news is that there is new hair growth I just wonder if my hair continues to fall out at this rate will I need to buy a wig...

You'll know when I know....Until then pray that the hair that’s left stays in or the new hair grows ultra fast.

Lots of Luv

On top of Ol' Smokey :)

2006-05-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I am going through my blog roll in what seems to be the first time in a very long time and catching up on everyone when I saw this recipe for sausage meatballs on Holly's blog. It inspired me to share my ground Turkey meatball recipe. Its a great source of protein and they are very tasty

Tunie's Turkey Balls
(Tunie is short for Looney Toons one of my Nick Names)

Ingredients:
1 medium onion or 1/2 a large one chopped
tbl olive oil
2 cloves garlic minced (or tbl of pre-menced garlic)
5 - 10 oz chopped mushrooms
1 lb ground turkey (I don't get the all breast as it is somewhat dry)
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup white wine
1 egg
Salt & Pepper to taste

Directions: (preheat oven to 350)
1. Saute onions, garlic, mushrooms in the olive oil when mushrooms release their moisture add white wine and cook down (about 5 minutes). Remove from heat and let cool about 5 minutes
2. In a large bowl combine ground turkey, egg, Parmesan cheese, salt & pepper and saute mixture and stir until well blended.
3. I use an ice cream scoop to get perfectly even meat balls every time :) Spoon out turkey mixture and ball. Place on an ungreesed sheet for cooking.
4. Sprinkle the balls with Parmesan cheese (optional
4. Bake until turkey is cooked through. (I didn't time it so I have no Idea how long) I will wager a guess of about 15 minutes it didn't take too long.

Since I can only eat two or three of them at a time I bagged them in individual servings and froze them. They made great quick fix meal and the recipe when using an ice cream scoop yielded 24 balls. They lasted forever.

Thanks Holly for inspiring me to write down this recipe. I hope ya'll like it.

Back in the Gym

2006-05-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

You would be so proud of me! I went to the gym! I was there to sign my son up for martial arts and did 20 minutes of cardio on the eliptical. Having to bring Angel in three times a week will ensure I get my work out in too. My Soul Sister (SS) already takes two of her kids in for the classes so we will get to work out together. I just reallized that these are good steps for motivation. Wish me luck...

boy after that eliptical machine my legs are so sore... just goes to show I have been out of the gym for a while now.

My Sons heart

2006-05-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Having just moved into our apartment I had only seen our neighbors daughter and not her. So when Angel announced she was outside I wanted a peak. I walked over to the window and looked through the blinds. There were a couple of adults so I didn’t know which one she was. He said “she is the one in the flowery dress. She looks very pretty in it”. And she did. What I find special about this moment is the fact that the woman he was talking about is obese. I wouldn’t say morbidly but it looks as though she is not far from it. I wanted to share this story to express one of the many things I love about my Angel. His heart is “fat blind”. I know that is a weird thing to say but in a world where people look upon obese people with disgust my son does not. I have heard his friends make fun of obese people and he will defend them.

This is by far not the only example of this trait that he has, but it is the one that sticks out the most right now. As a matter of fact his girlfriends are the girls that the other students call “fat” even though they are not overweight they are just not the “Skinny Minnie” type. And on a couple of occasions has almost been in a fight over the fact some butt head called one of them so.

He as always been one to accept you for your heart and not your appearance it makes me proud.

He has also expressed his concern with me having WLS. He does not like me loosing weight. I understand that it is mostly because change is pretty scary and he is comfortable with where I was and these drastic changes put him into unknown territory. He always says “your getting too skinny”, “you looked better when you were bigger”, “I don’t like your decision but I will support it” Etc...

He is such a wonderful boy. Not just because he is “fat blind” but because he is who he is. I was truly blessed by having him and just as his nickname states he is my Angel.

The Pics are in

2006-05-01T23:09:00.000-07:00

Hey check out Shrinking Beauty for the new pics...

Currently 200lbs

One pound to ONE-derland!

Mr. Eccentric x2

2006-05-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an honor to have Mr. Eccentric Renting both of my blogs! If you have not already added him to your links or blogroll then you are truly missing out. Go ahead, give him a click, the curiosity is going to get you...

Dont forget to tell him who sent 'cha

Long Time no Blog

2006-04-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Howdy out there,

It sure has been pretty crazy these days. I have been pretty busy and unfortunately I have not blogged in a while. As for exercising I am still struggling with motivation but I am down to the 200 line on weight and its only a matter of a pound and I am in One-derland.

Everyone go by and check on Barb. She's back from a long absence because of some complications.

Trying to Stay Sane

2006-04-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

My new renter is here! It’s been a while since I have had one. It’s always so hard to choose. I decided to have Trying to stay sane as my guest this week. I have been reading through her site off and on tonight and find it very intriguing. Her outlook on dealing with life and struggling with infertility are very well articulated and captivating. Stop on by and sit a spell. Take your shoes off… Tell her I sent ‘cha.

Be the Butterfly is here: It’s a Double Feature

2006-04-16T00:52:00.000-07:00

That’s Right, I am the lucky renter of two blogs My so called Ramblings & British in America . What a lucky girl am I. Both sites are very captivating. I suggest you stop on by and take a look see. Tell 'em I sent 'cha

13 Years Ago Today

2006-04-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

My son was born at 505 am on Tuesday, April 13th, 1993.

He weighed 6lbs and 1oz and was 21 inches long, which is pretty good for a boy who was 6 weeks premature. He was ready for this world. I was 19. When I saw my beautiful son and held him for the first time I thought to myself how important he was. I was in awe of my ability to grow, nurture and sustain a life inside my body. I knew from the begining that He was destined for greatness.

He is more than just a baby boy to me, He is my angel, A suprise gift from God. My son gave me focus, desire, determination and hope. I have occationally thought about the different directions my life could have gone in and I always come back to my son. I wouldnt want it any other way. Besides, without him I would not have turned out so well.

He has blessed my life with joy, laughter, caos, tears, love and much more. There are no words that can express my love for him. None that could even come close. He has taught me and helped me grow as a woman and a mother.

He has made me a better person.

Happy Birthday Son, You are loved more than you could ever know!

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK

2006-04-12T21:17:00.000-07:00

Three days ago I am driving through the drive through at Sonic to get water. I couldn’t believe it but I did not have $0.43 in my car or purse so I had to use my check card. I figured instead of using my card for a miniscule amount of money I would order something else. So I ordered some cheese sticks (I know they are bad but I don’t do it very often and I only ate two of them).

No one was behind me when I ordered them at the window so I went ahead and did it. Meanwhile, someone in an old red mini Toyota truck pulls in and places an order. His order is complete before mine so the sonic lady brings him his order out the drive through door and he puts is car and reverse and begins to go around me. Just as he lines up with my passenger window he stops... honks his horn... and just as I look around he flips me the bird...

What the Hell was that??? I didn’t hold him up; he got his order when it was complete. The only thing I can think of was he was pissed he had to put his truck in reverse. He wasn’t even there when I placed an order at the window.

Today was going along just fine. I had tried on the sz 14 pants I was given last month and I was actually able to button and zip them without lying on the bed YIPPEEEEE! I'm feeling pretty good about myself after that. So I started working on unpacking my house and doing laundry.

So I am walking back from the laundry room in my apartments and it happened. Two jerks drove by in a champagne mini-van... yelled out the window "Hey Baby", I turned to look at them and they started laughing hysterically and drove off.

Now I have been subject to these kinds of things for years. I find it really is hurtful and totally unnecessary. I have never done that to anyone! It just kind of hit me hard today. After all, I had had that good moment earlier. Sometimes I think it’s not meant for me to feel good. Because every time I do or begin to something happens that really sucks.

So Just like SS said.... I have sent that negative energy back to the jack asses involved because I am not going to keep it. I just had to vent.

Thanks for listening (or reading)....

Images:

Mean People Suck

I see Mean People

What is motivation?

2006-04-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

Is it the desire, willingness or the act of achieving a goal? Let’s look at the definition from (dictionary.com).

mo.ti.va.tion - n. 1. a: The act or process of motivating. B: The state of being motivated. 2. Something that motivates; an inducement or incentive.

Ok so motivation is the ACT but that wasn’t very clear let’s get to the root of it.

mo.ti.vate - tr.v. To provide with an incentive; move to action; impel.

It’s apparent that the tool to motivate someone will differ from person to person. Now I need to find out what motivates me.

You may be asking yourself “what is it that The Catapillar needs to be motivated to do”… and that is a good question. You most likely have already gleamed what I need to be motivated to do from my last post. Just in case you haven’t read that one yet (or guessed) it’s the all powerful

Exercise!

This is where my motivation seriously lacks. So I have compiled a list of things that should be motivating me.

The Scale
Extra Skin
My Energy
Clothing fit
Cost of plastic surgery
My crush also works out at my gym
Sex (or future sex that is)

This is a fairly large list for it not to be working already. What’s up with that? Why is my brain not working right?

It must be habit… I have had a habit of stagnant life style. You know how it is…with the extra weight your bones and heart have a harder time when you are moving a lot. Personally for me I had immense back and knee pain and it was so severe that it worked as a motivator not to move. I have often joked that in my mind I am a fitness nut I just couldn’t get up off the couch.

What is the best way to change a habit? I have heard that if you can do it for 15 days in a row non stop you will form a new habit. My Soul Sister (SS) has always said just work through it and get it done. Once you get through it you will find it becomes easier as it goes. She is very good at motivating herself that way. I have always kind of had a mind about me (that is pretty asinine I might add) when she starts with the “just do it” talk I get kind of frustrated and I go toward the opposite of what she is saying. I know your thinking “how stupid is that girl!” and to be perfectly honest… I have always known she was right; I just didn’t want to admit it.

So for my SS! Thanks for always trying to keep me motivated and living through my attitude without running in the other direction!

That’s it! I am just going to do it. NO more excuses! NO more whining! NO more procrastinating

Just like SS (and Nike) said: JUST DO IT!

I’m starting tomorrow.

Wish me luck! I’ll let you know

Missing in Action

2006-04-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, it seems as though I have been neglecting my blog. I guess in a lot of ways I have. I think I have figured out why. In some ways this blog and the people who read it keep me accountable for doing what I am supposed to be doing. Since I have been slacking on my exercising and my scale teeters back and forth in a 5lb range I feel like I am failing and It’s hard to kind of admit that.

I am still eating pretty healthy. I am not eating sugar or fried foods (with little exception) but I cannot get motivated to work out. I know this is going to play a part in weight loss and skin reduction. The scale moves between 205 and 210. My portion size is about a cup however sometimes I eat more than that. I don’t drink with my food except occasionally I will have a small sip if I have eaten something spicy. And I wait for at least 30 minutes after I eat to start drinking. Although for the most part its more like an hour. So I know that exercise is the catalyst on the weight thing.

Now I just need to get motivated!

P.S. I bought sz 16s yesterday!!!! That’s down from a sz 24/26!!!

Rob in China

2006-03-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

Rob in china is my new Renter this week. Take a moment to go by and say hello. Its a great place for the strange and unusual news of China. You have to read it to believe it.... :)

The Pics Are In

2006-03-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

Hey, I posted my three month pics. I can hardly believe the difference. Go on over and check them out...

http://shrinkingbeauty.blogspot.com

Advocacy for WLS patients

2006-03-22T03:45:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

Long Time no Write... I found the following sample letter to send to your local legislator and thought if we all take a step to send out a letter it could help. This letter was written by Deb Gedney, and I found it with the SCA_WLS_support@yahoogroups.com. I think if we each take a moment to compose a letter and send it in as well as forward this message out we can get something going. I will be sending mine soon.

The steps are:
1. Write to the correct person (send via internet http://www.house.gov/writerep/) (senate http://www.senate.gov/)
2. Mention the specific legislation in question so the politician or his/her staff can look it up
3. Explain why this affects you and why you care about the issue
4. Ask for action such as supporting or not supporting the proposed legislation

The Sample Letter (Remember to change the info accordingly).

March 12, 2006

Governor M. Jodi Rell
Office of the Governor
210 Capitol Avenue
Hartford , CT 06106
governor.rell@...
Telephone: (860) 566-4840

Commissioner Susan Cogswell
State of Connecticut Insurance Department P.O. Box 816 Hartford , CT 06142-0816 susan.cogswell@...
Telephone: (860) 297-3801

March 12, 2006

Ref: Senate Bill #579
"An Act Concerning Health Insurance Coverage for Medical Services and Treatment for Morbid Obesity"

Dear Gov. Rell, Commissioner Cogswell and Members of the CT State Insurance Department:

I am a post-bariatric surgery patient, having had a gastric bypass performed by Dr. Robert Bell on May 27, 2004. This surgery literally saved my life and the lives of many people very dear to me, including my husband. I am writing today to request your support of Raised S.B. No. 552. This legislation has been introduced and been assigned to the Joint Insurance and Real Estate Committee. The bill would mandate treatment for Morbid Obesity under fully insured health plans. Details on the bill can be found at www.cga.ct.gov/2006/TOB/S/2006SB-00552-R00-SB.htm. Your immediate support is very important as Raised S.B. No. 552 will be considered at a public hearing on March 14.

On the morning that I had my surgery, I weighed 360 lbs. I had extremely severe sleep apnea, was pre-diabetic and had a long history of depression. I had been obese since childhood, and had a documented lifetime of unsuccessful weight loss efforts, including taking dangerous drugs such as ephedrine, phentermine and fenflouramine. Nothing worked for more than a few weeks. In addition to the physical effects of obesity, I also suffered from documentable job discrimination, romantic failures and just everyday quality of life issues such as not being able to fit in the seats of an amusement park ride, airplane or movie theater. I could not walk up a ladder without fear it would break (most ladders have a weight limit of 275 lbs) or fit on a normal bathroom scale (weight limit of 300 lbs). I wore a size 30 (4x). About 99% of the time, I was the largest person in the room everywhere I went.

My mother, sister and nieces are all obese. My mother is permanently disabled from arthritis and had thyroid cancer, which are conditions that are obviously aggravated by excess weight. My husband was also morbidly obese and suffered from severe sleep apnea, depression and severe back pain. I could see the writing on the wall for me - I urgently needed to lose a LOT of weight if I had any hope of avoiding these conditions. But, as I said, after a lifetime of unsuccessful weight loss efforts, I had almost no hope that anything could help me that I hadn't already tried - and I do mean TRIED with all my might.

Today, as you can see from the attached 'before' and 'after'
pictures, my life is radically improved. With the aid of my gastric bypass, I have lost 150 lbs and wear size 14, not 30. My husband was inspired by my example and also had a gastric bypass in June 2005.
He has lost over 100 lbs and now wears men's size 36, not 48's. Our health has radically improved by every measure and we no longer have severe sleep apnea or pre-diabetes. We formed an online support group that has over 100 members and, I am humbled to say, we are blessed to serve as examples of hope for many people who, like us, thought there was no hope for a normal weight in this lifetime.
This is not about vanity. It is about avoiding an expensive, painful and early death.

In closing, I again urge your support to restore access to obesity management services. I ask that you write back, letting me know your position on this issue. And thank you sincerely for your time and consideration.

Best wishes,
My Name, address and contact info

Rambling on and on

2006-03-10T01:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I know I have been slacking when it comes to weight updates and just blogging in general. Right now my scale is in a box some where in the mountain o' boxes and I have not un burried it yet. As soon as it is around I will post my current weight. I am quite curious myself as to what it is.

I have noticed quite a few new things... some I like, some I dont who knew. First I am now in an 18 full fledged I have a ton of laundry to do so I can start selling it on ebay. I am looking forward to getting some new clothing. I only have 3 pair of pants and a few shirts that are size appropriate. All of my other pants are a 20-24 the 20s I can wear (only on pair of those) the rest actually fall off. This I like! I have noticed lots of flopping around in my arms, boobs and inner thyghs. this is begining to scare me. I know I am going to have some exess skin but that doesnt mean I want any. That I dont like!!

I am trying to motivate myself to go to the gym. I know that is what is going to make my skin bareable or surgery required. I just cant seem to get it together. at least for the last month. Since the move I am actually closer to the gym then I was (which will help my motivation). All I can think about right now is getting my appartment in order so I can live there comfortably. ARRRGGGG....

...My So-CaLLed RamBLinGs...

2006-03-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

Picking renters for my blog is always such a hard decision. There are always at least 5 I would like to rent to.

This week, I am welcoming perisblurbs from ...My So-CaLLed RamBLinGs... She has bid on my blog I think every time it has gone up for rent and today is the day I am honored with her thumbnail.

Her blog is entertaining and looks great. Give her a click and tell her I sent 'cha. You wont regret it.

Dont be shy :)

It's been a while

2006-03-07T02:38:00.000-08:00

This last couple of weeks sure have been busy. What with my mother going into the hospital and by the grace of God returning home, Packing and finally moving. I have not had any time. I have been off work for 6 days and have lost internet at home (well at least until I set it up).

Just in case you are wondering, I have neglected my weigh days and have taken unofficial weights periodically and currently my unofficial weight is 215... not bad if I do say so myself. That is a total of 68lbs down!!!! When I find and unpack my scale I will give you an official weight on wednesday.

By the way, I love my new place. I have lots of room to spread out and store things. And my Dad is able to stay with my son (I had to stop myself from saying babysit). I will love it even more when I get it unpacked. I will take pics and show it to you when it happens.

Almost An Angel...

2006-02-28T00:12:00.000-08:00

... Is here! Although I have not yet delved into her blog I like what I see. Particularly her support or our Military. I have enjoyed my stay there and will continue to read and get to know her.

Don't be shy :) give her a click and check it out. :) Tell her The Catapillar sent 'cha...

Prayer Request

2006-02-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days since I have been in a place to post. A lot has happened since last sunday. My mother has COPD which is a lung desease and suffered from lung failure sunday night. She was in the hospital on ventalators from sunday until wednesday until she was finally able to breath on her own. She remained in ICU for observation until thursday and then was moved into a room. Finally she has been released to go home.

I believe that God granted us a miracle with her recovery. Although a long road awaits us as they decide if she will need a lung transplant.

I ask for all of your prayers on this... as many as you can muster. My Family will truly appreciate it.

Image:
Praying Hands

The Two Month Pics

2006-02-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

Hey, I got my two month pics online!!! check them out at Shrinking Beauty... my photo blog... I am pretty excited about being able to wear the outfit and look decent in it. :)

Image:

Photographer

Falling BMI!

2006-02-18T04:47:00.000-08:00

It just dawned on me to calculate my BMI and it is Under 40 resting in at a 38.1 (based on my un-official weigh in)!!!! I am almost to the point where I would not qualify for Surgery! AMAZING!!! I wasnt expecting it to drop so quickly as well.

Wanna Calculate yours? Go to Obesityhelp.com's BMI Calculator.

Need Insurance Approval?

2006-02-18T03:47:00.000-08:00

Hey, if you are having trouble getting approval from your insurance you should check out the e-book written by The Gastric Bypass Guru and his lovely wife. It details how you can get your insurance company to say YES!

If you pre-order you will receive a discount. But you'd better hurry! It hits the virtual news stand on February 25th.

Have a look see.... Click here to go to his page.

Un-Official Weighing

2006-02-18T03:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, I admit it... I actually step on the scale every day... There now, I feel much better for confessing that. I only count the Wednesday weight though.

But, today when I woke up I stepped on the scale and lo and behold I weighed in at 222... Now that is an un-official weight loss of 61 lbs.

I know it will fluctuate but I just had to say that one out loud. For some reason having lost more than 60 lbs sounds just like the sweet songs of a choir of nightingales to my ears....

The Guru is Here :)

2006-02-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

What an honor to rent my blog space to the Gastric Bypass Guru... If you havent been there you should click his thumbnail and go right away and if you have then click just so you can say Howdy.

If you are considering, in process or have had any form of Weight Loss Surgery... If you are a non surgery dieter to get some very awesome, encouraging support you should stop by and see Craig. There are many avenues for support at the GBG site and as always lots of love.

And you just have to hear him sing with his big band the Bada Bings!

Go ahead... give him a click... (you know you want to :) )

Tell him the Catapillar Sent 'Cha!

Vitamin B Deficiency??

2006-02-17T00:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been having some issues for the last couple of weeks with sleepy extremities. So, I finally broke down and emailed my Dr's PA and he told me to add b supplements to my daily vitamin regiment.

His order to take the B-complex prompted me to do some further research on the whole vitamin B thing. B is very important for just about everything. Wow, I should be doing lots more research. These vitamins are essential for:

The breakdown of carbohydrates into glucose (this provides energy for the body)
The breakdown of fats and proteins (which aids the normal functioning of the nervous system)
Muscle tone in the stomach and intestinal tract
Skin
Hair
Eyes
Mouth
Liver

This is a quick guide from Howthingswork.com:

(Vitamin
Food Sources
Importance
When You Take Too Much
When You Take Too Little)

Thiamine (B1)
cereal, bread, meat, rice, yeast, corn, nuts
carbohydrate metabolism, nervous system
none known
beriberi (anemia, paralysis), movement & memory effects

Riboflavin (B2)
grains, milk, meat, eggs, cheese, peas
maintains skin, mucous membranes, eyes, nerve sheaths
None known
skin & oral problems, anemia

Niacin (B3)
Meat, milk, eggs, fish, legumes, potatoes
healthy skin, nerves & GI tract, metabolism of food
flushing, itching, cramps, nausea, skin eruptions
pellagra (diarrhea, dermatitis, dementia)

Pyridoxine (B6)
organ meats, brown rice, fish, butter, soybeans
metabolism of food, amino acids
nerve damage
skin & nerve damage, confusion, mouth irritation

Folic acid (B9)
yeast, liver, green vegetables, whole grain cereal
DNA, hemoglobin synthesis, formation of blood cells, protein metabolism
convulsions, disrupted zinc absorption
anemia, mouth irritation, poor growth

cyanocobalamin (B12)
liver, meat, eggs, poultry, milk
metabolism of food, blood cell formation, DNA synthesis
none known
pernicious anemia, mouth irritation, brain damage

Pantothenic acid
N/A; made by our intestines
meats, legumes, whole-grain cereals
breakdown of carbohydrates, lipids, amino acids
diarrhea
none known

Biotin
N/A; made by our intestines
beef liver, egg yolk, brewer's yeast, mushrooms
functions as coenzyme in caroboxylation reactions
none known
scaly dermatitis

Its funny (and scary) how in my reading this article I realized all of the symptoms I am having. Sleeplessness, sore muscles, fatigue, and much much more. I am going to get my B12 shot and some b-complex sublingual tomorrow (or at least talk with my PCP on what I should be doing for suppliments).

Dumping my concerns

2006-02-16T03:10:00.000-08:00

Well, this week has been filled with concerns. I just can’t shake this icky feeling that I have peaked and I won’t loose more than I have and if you just read the last post I have found one of the lost (unwanted) pounds. Deep down I know this is unrealistic, and although I am well aware of the possibility that I can mess this up for myself, I feel like I may just be having some anxieties about adding the foods back into my diet.

I keep thinking I am stretching out my pouch, I shouldn’t be able to eat this whole serving, what the heck am i doing?

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!

I guess these are normal thoughts

How much should I be able to hold in my pouch this early out?
Why have I not dumped yet? Shouldn’t something bother my new anatomy?

God Please don’t let me mess this one up

Official Weigh Day - Week Eight

2006-02-16T03:05:00.000-08:00

It was bound to happen! I have gained one pound... Making my total weight loss slide back to 54lbs....

I have to say though that, although it does bother me. I am ok because I know weight bounces back and forth and I have added some new foods back to my diet.

I still believe I am doing well and next week will show a loss.

Bring a Dish Day

2006-02-16T02:33:00.000-08:00

In my son's history class he had to bring a dish that represented his heritage. We had a variety of backgrounds to choose from the largest being Italian followed closely by Hispanic and rounding up third is Hill Billy... Well, my boy being proud that his great grand parents floated over here in the late 19th century early 20th decided to pick Italian.

Its the day before he needs to bring this dish and the conversation goes something like this

"Did you write your assignments in your agenda?"

"No"

"Do you have any projects due soon. any assignments that take a while?"

"Ummmm....."

"Something I can help you with?"

"No"

"you sure?"

"oh, mom..."

"yes"

"I have to bring a dish to school tomorrow"

"Why am I just finding this out now?"

"Because You reminded me when you asked about projects"

Great!! So we discussed a few things and the final choice was Arancini di Riso, made from Mushroom risotto with peas. I used the recipe from the show "Everyday Italian" on Food Network (my new obsession)

It turned out to be an awesome dish. I think it is one of my very favorites now.

We then set out to make a small pamplet about this dish. It contained a brief discussion on the origin of the dish and the recipe for both. It is pretty cool. He said the kids and his teacher loved the dish and tomorrow he has to give his presentation and pass out his hand out.

We enjoyed working on this one together. We cooked and researched and learned something about our Italian roots.

The risotto dish will quickly become a family favorite as I plan on cooking it more frequently. His hand out looks like this:

Front View

Back View

It's a tri-fold hand out. I will let you know how it out goes over later.

Images:

Mushroom Risotto
Arancini di Riso

Been a long time

2006-02-15T01:13:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines day... I have been pretty busy lately... working, helping mom move, packing because I am moving. Cooking for my son's bring a dish day. buying and selling on ebay.

more to come later...

I Won!

2006-02-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it I won the $50 for my Idea for Craig the Gastric Bypass Guru to be the Friggen Best Husband on VDay!

My Idea was this:

...I typed up about 25 reasons why I love him and printed them out. Cut them into individual slips and about three days in advance I placed them all over the house. In the coffee canister, in the bathroom taped to the milk etc… On V-day I cooked his favorite meal and just before dinner I sent him to the store. I set out the candles and the wine and I had also written him a song (which I sung to him after dessert)...

There were so many great Idea's I had no idea I would win.

Thanks Craig!

Official Weigh Day - Week Seven

2006-02-09T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am sure you are all wondering what the total was for this week. I have to say it has been quite touch and go as the scale tettered back and forth on its edge waiting to land on its precise destination. Well, I was waiting on baited breath myself. The scale finally resting on its designated target of

228

A grand (and I mean grand) total of

55 lbs Gone Forever!!!

PRAISE GOD!!!!

Image:
Scale

My New Tenant

2006-02-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, Take a moment and check out my new blog renter. They have some awesome looking recipes. Too bad I cant make them right now. :)

Something I hadn't thought of

2006-02-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, I knew I was going to have to buy new cloths, bras, underwear, etc... but I had no idea i would need new shoes. I am half a size down already. I was a 9 prior to gaining weight and was up to a 10 after and headed into a 10 1/2 or 11 just in the last year. I am down to a 9 1/2.

Anyone need size 10 - 11 shoes?

How I quit smoking... (pt 1)

2006-02-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

... And how its going to help me with my food addiction.

I would not have been able to do this without God. The funny part is that I didn't want to quit. I liked (except for the side effects) smoking. My son begged me; I didn’t want him to become a smoker so how could I tell him not to and partake myself. I know I am his mother and that give me the right to say no but the example of hypocrite I did not want to lead. The other reason is that in my family it is apparent that smoke related lung disease is pretty likely. My grandmother was diagnosed with Lung cancer in October 1999 and passed do to the disease on January 2, 2000. My mother who suffers (just as my grand mother did) from COPD and only has 1/3 of her lung usage could likely end up with cancer as well. Not to mention the massive amounts of medication she is on. These things sent up red flags all through my mind and I realized that if I didn’t quit I may not be there for my own child or grand children.

So the Journey Begins...

Nov 1 2004. D – DAY. This was the day I decided I would quit smoking and this time I was going to be successful no matter what. I had spent a good $120 on tools for quitting smoking (I was not going to waist this money yet again). I got the Nicoderm patch (the strong one), Smoke Away and some chocolate. I probably should have left the chocolate behind but you know…
The night before I still had 4 cigarettes left and it was bed time. I didn’t really want to go to bed with cigarettes but I couldn’t smoke anymore. Just in case you were wondering. It wasn’t about waste, I knew if I had any left that I would smoke them. That was the last night I had a good nights sleep for quite some time.

I woke up on Nov 1 ready to start my journey into the land of non-smoking. I did (as I knew I would) have one cigarette before applying the Nicoderm patch and taking the first dose of my smoke away. The day went by pretty well for a new non smoker who could only think about that cigarette. I didn’t bite anyone’s head off and I had a fairly productive work day. So I was thinking it wouldn’t be quite as hard as I thought it would be. NOT! I had a drag from a co-workers cigarette and I had one from my last three. Not bad really for a pack and a half a day smoker. Let me tell you if you smoke with the patch on you can get pretty dizzy. One more cig before bed and that was my day. Not too bad.

I didn’t sleep well the next night as I didn’t read the fine print on the patch “… may cause restless sleep…” or something to that effect. Well they were right. No sleep for the weary… I had two drags from co-workers and half of the last cig at work. The last half of the cig was had before bed… The next day I had one drag and that was it… By NOV 3 I was tobacco free.
I continued to wear the patch for two weeks then I took it off. I didn’t finish the smoke away but from previous attempts to quit with it if you take this med and smoke you will become physically ill.

I have thought about a cigarette and smoking one every day and in the beginning it was every minute. I told myself that I was not fighting the monster of addiction I was fighting a weak little cigarette and I was not going to loose that battle. The mindset worked and I am still a non smoker today. 15 months and I am still a non smoker. And it is getting easier…

How is this going to help my addiction to food????

Stay Tuned to find out :)

Want to Win $50

2006-02-05T02:10:00.000-08:00

Win $50 via PayPal or Amazon Gift Card

The Gastric Bypass Guru is having a contest to find the best valentines gifts for his lovely bride and he has potitioned your help. Click Here to go to his site and submit your suggestions. The criteria must be that it is $150 or less and he can purchace by Feb 10.

I know you have a great idea! Let's Help him be the BEST Husband on Valentines Day :)

New Look

2006-02-05T01:28:00.000-08:00

Well I didn't actually have to learn java. I found there are lots of people out there who create FREE blog templates so I got one. Tell me what you think. Also, if you are useing IE you may even see some floating butterflys.

Under Construction

2006-02-03T23:19:00.000-08:00

You may be seeing lots of changes. I am working on customizing my page but dont know java so it is going to be a work in progress. If you see something you like or dont let me know.

Random thoughts from a Food Addict

2006-02-03T01:48:00.000-08:00

Food has been my addiction substitute for a very long time. I come from a long line of alcoholics and drug addicts (maternal side) and as a child I watched them become mere shells of themselves and I swore that I would never do the same. That’s why prior to surgery I drank maybe twice a year (and I would usually be the designated driver) and drugs have never interested me. Now I can’t drink for a while and it doesn’t bother me one bit I could just leave it be. Now back on track. Since I was not going to be what I saw in the people I loved my addiction became food. I eat when an alcoholic drank and when a drug addict would use. It’s funny how you see these things only when you have been removed from the situation. While I was eating (until about a three years ago) I never would have thought that I was an addict. When I look back I can see clearly situations that showed my addiction.

Now that I am on soft foods I am paranoid. I for one don’t want to gain weight or sabotage my progress. I almost liked not eating much of anything at least I knew that I wasn’t going to gain weight that way. So now I sit here wondering if I should eat, feeling like I have made a pig of myself all day… The truth is I have only eaten one scrambled egg and then one boiled egg (I deviled it) I had a bite of potato salad but my tummy objected to that instantly. I have brought for lunch one half a pimento cheese sandwich and an orange that I peeled and cut up. I don’t plan (nor do I think I could) eat them at the same time. But I am not sure if I should eat after all I have eaten so much already today. It feels like I can eat a lot in one setting. Shouldn’t I only be able to eat half an egg? My biggest fear as I state so often is that I will stretch out my pouch and then be able to eat what ever. I am already having an issue as I feel like I can eat anything I want to. That scares me tremendously.

When I was pre-op I would often times talk myself into being hungry just so I could eat. I know that seems a little weird but as most of us I felt comfort in the eating process. I hated myself the entire time but I would still do it. I longed for that feeling of being over stuffed. It was my security blanket. Just as the fat that surrounds my body. As long as I carry this extra weight no one will hurt me because they wont come near me.

A lot lately I have found that I want to begin the cycle of convincing myself that I am hungry and it takes great force of will to reject those thoughts. By the grace of God I am able to over come these things and I don’t succumb to the food calling unless I am really physically hungry (which I judge by my stomach purring).

All I know is this war is quite difficult and I have to utilize my entire arsenal against it. God has enabled me to win the battles so far and I trust I will win the war.

I will break this chain so my children and their children have a better chance of living a normal life.

Image:

Break the Chain

My Bid Accepted

2006-02-02T21:04:00.000-08:00

Hey, I am the proud renter of space at Paddy`s Place of Prattling. A very fun place to be. Go by and check it out. Tell him The Catapillar Sent 'cha.

The 6 Week Check up

2006-02-02T00:08:00.000-08:00

I went for my 6 week check up today and there was a little good and bad information received. First off my blood work came back with normal results in all area's but one. It seems I am not getting enouph fluids and I am "Really" dehidrated. I will need to add gatorade to my liquid intake. Yuk! well if the Dr. says drink it I guess I will drink it.

I am now on soft foods !!!! I had some fish with veggies for dinner. It was the best fish I have ever eaten. I only had about 2oz of it but it was good. I'll have the rest for lunch (since I am on the midnight shift lunch is around 3am for me).

You may have wondered, "did she get any sleep today" the answer to your burning question is no... I had a normal night sleep and have been up since 730am or so. No sleep for the catapillar today... I will however be sleeping tomorrow.

Official Weigh Day - Week Six

2006-02-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that this is the beginning of week seven or the end of it. My brain is pretty fried. On a pretty awesome note (brain or no brain) I have lost a total of

50 lbs!!!!

In 6 weeks!

Here's to more pounds gone forever.

Images from http://www.backusturner.com - champaign
http://psychology.wichita.edu - scale

I Have Rented Space

2006-02-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

Hey, I am officially renting some blog space over at Written In Stone. Take a moment and go say hello. Tell 'em The Catapillar sent 'cha :)

A MUST READ

2006-01-31T01:53:00.000-08:00

There is a new Renter in town and I know you need to take a look. These are the writings and journallings of a very talented author. Go ahead... you know you want to... give him a click and tell him The Catapillar sent 'cha.

Ramblings from Sleep Deprivation…

2006-01-30T23:11:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning at 7:30 am. Having to go back to work tonight for my first night on in 5 days kind of worried me. I know I needed to get some sleep but that was just not going to happen today. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t sleep well and I tried to nap twice once in the early afternoon and once when around 7pm. I was unsuccessful on both attempts.

I made it to work on time (which was quite abnormal) and am slowly drifting. I cant have caffeine (I could but I am barley getting the water I need as is). So I am stuck here, trying not to fall into a deep restful sleep in this cold hard room that I call my job.

That is where you come in. I decided to write about a lot of the things I have been thinking about over the past week. So here goes…

… First, I have been very concerned about stretching my pouch. I will be adding soft foods into my diet on Wednesday and have had a couple of things that could be considered soft foods this weekend. Not much but enough to get me a bit worried. It feels like I have been eating more at each sitting and I don’t like it at all. I do not want to stretch anything and stop loosing weight. I have weighed in (even though it’s not official until Wednesday) and nothing has come off. I have been expecting a plateau (as stated in my last post) but that doesn’t mean I really want it to happen. I know I should be walking more than I do and that is going to change. My 6wk check up is on Wednesday and I hope I am on par with what the Dr. expects. So now I sit in worry. Wondering if I have messed anything up and praying I didn’t…

… Second, my son is getting so tall. He is only 12 and is already taller than me by almost an inch (that’s not saying much I am only 5”4’) and I just had to buy him new shoes in a size 12 that’s right 12. His feet are huge. If humans are anything like dogs and you can judge the size of the man by his paws (hehe) then my boy is going to be one huge guy…. He has to get it from his fathers’ side as on my side we are nothing but a bunch of short Italians. Gosh they grow so fast…

… Third, I want to go to bed… Z Z Z Z Z Z Z

Sleep at work pic from http://members.tripod.com/~catladie

Official Weigh Day - Week Five

2006-01-30T22:09:00.000-08:00

Well, It seems like I have been slacking in my blogging... My mom is moving so I went to her house to help pack and just some of lifes other silly things. I did weigh on wednesday though and the results are...

... 5 more pounds gone forever!!! I am now at 235. This is a grand total of 48 lbs gone. This is where I was prior to leaving California. I gained all of this in the last three years. I wonder if a platue is due. We shall see.....

Isnt it AWESOME!!! When I look at the scale even if it doesnt move in a couple of days I know that there is still a light at the end of this tunnel.

I will be me again :) this time it's the truth.

One Month Pics

2006-01-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Howdy, Sorry for the delay in getting these posted. The lighting is pretty bad and the battery for the camera was dieing so I got what I could. Next month they well be much better.

A New Renter In Town

2006-01-24T00:45:00.000-08:00

I have a brand new renter and wanted everyone to click on her thumbnail and check out her blog. It is beautiful and interesting. Great combo if creativity and tech. Go ahead now give her a click. Tell her The Catapillar Sent 'cha.

A Photo Blog

2006-01-22T02:53:00.000-08:00

Howdy Everyone in Blogger Land,

I have created a blog just for the photo process of this journey. I will post lots of pics there :) I hope you stop by and see. :) Http://shrinkingbeauty.blogspot.com

Image from:http://www.antique-art.com.au/

Official Weigh In - Week Four

2006-01-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

Stepping on the scale today I was pretty worried that my quick loss had come to a slow. I live with that fear daily. I want to do this right and I want to have excellent results and have them last. Well, I was quite supprised.

43 POUNDS GONE FOREVER

I was shocked and amazed to see that much gone. That is 9 pounds more that last week.

Saturday will be my surgery anniversary. I will post the coveted one month pics then.

I go back to the Doc on Feb 1 and cant wait. I achieved the 40 lbs I wanted to loose before the Doctors appointment.

I will be able to eat a scrambled egg... It sounds so good. Yippeeeeee!

283/240/145

Image from: http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/

Quitting Smoking vs. Loosing Weight and WLS

2006-01-18T01:25:00.000-08:00

Sitting here alone in my office waiting for someone to call and tell me there is a problem leaves so much time to think. So I have been thinking a lot about the differences between quitting smoking and loosing weight. I quit smoking November 1st 2004. Aside from a couple of drags off of someone else’s cigarette a few times the following two days I have not had a cigarette since. Now I say that like it was easy… well let me tell you that was one of the most painful and hardest things I have ever done. I went through many emotions and was pretty difficult to live with for quite a while. I still have issues to this day about wanting to smoke. My son and friends were very supportive and didn’t give me much trouble when I would give them attitude either. They are great.

Now the issue of loosing weight. I have been on many diets over the last decade. Some would have some effect and the weight would come off some would just not work at all but either way I would not only put the weight back on it would come back in uglier places and there would be more then what left in the first place. I finally decided to have the gastric bypass surgery and it happed as some of you may know on 12/21/05.

Ok, let’s compare the two. As stated above quitting smoking was very difficult. Loosing weight was even more difficult and I have come to a conclusion. Maybe some of you have already found this out but for me it is pretty new. When you quit smoking you have the option to never take smoke into your body again. You can cut that off without actually dieing as a result. But when you begin a journey to loose weight you cant just stop eating… that can kill you as it has many people in the world voluntary or not.

Most of you know how disheartening it is to loose some weight and have it come right back. A lot of us have done this for years. So many people have opted for Surgery. Myself included. Did I cheat? Was it the easy way out? To some the answer may be yes. But this has been pretty tough so far. I still have to cut my portions (with some help) I have to make good food choices, and I have to exercise (at least walk daily) the motivation for that is quite nil at the moment. But I look at it like this. So if I cheated (in your eyes) but I think cheating a diet is far better than risking the death of a morbidly obese individual.

Just had to rant abit.

Hey, want a shameless plug? Ok, I just added the adsence from blogger. Just give it a short click. You don’t have to say. I get paid if you click. :)

Images from: http://www.999today.com/ & http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/

Interesting Article

2006-01-18T00:42:00.000-08:00

I found this on someones blog. Unfortunatly I cannot remember who's but I wanted to share. If you are the person who posted this or you know who did please let me know so I can give credit to them. Anyway, check out this article on Obesity and the Brain. Pretty interesting reading.

http://www.jsonline.com/alive/news/jul03/152605.asp

Soup... Soup... Soup... + a Recipe

2006-01-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

When is it going to end? The thought of eating cream of whatever soup from a can makes me sick to my stomach. I make it occasionally but really only take a couple of bites because I am not into being physically ill. So the dilemma… It is much easier to buy canned soups and eat them then make it myself but there is no way. I can't eat any more of it. So I made this awesome soup called Avocado and green chili soup given to me by a friend. It is AWESOME. Now this is the soup I can eat... The recipe is as follows

Avocado and Green Chile Soup
Avocados and chilies team up to give this soup its color and flavor. I added to this cilantro and it made it that much more wonderful.

Ingredients:

3 large ripe avocados, peeled, seeded
1/2 onion, quartered
4 cups chicken broth (I used bouillon cubes)
cup half-and-half or whole milk (4-ounce) can ORTEGA® Diced Green Chiles (I blended these to make them smaller)
teaspoon ground cumin
3/4 teaspoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon ground white pepper

Directions:

PLACE avocado and onion in food processor or blender; cover. Process until onion is coarsely chopped. Chop Cilantro separately.
COMBINE broth and half-and-half in large saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat; reduce heat to low. Stir in avocado mixture, chilies, cumin, garlic salt and white pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 to 3 minutes or until warm. Ladle into bowls. Garnish as desired.

Renting Some Space

2006-01-16T04:11:00.000-08:00

Howdy everyone! There is a new renter in town and she is The Rock Bitch Her blog is pretty funny and has a great look. You must check out her blog. So click on the her pick over on the right and make sure to tell her that The Catapillar sent you.

I had so many bids this time it was so hard to pick. If you bid please bid again I am sure we will get there. I liked all of the choises but Blogexplosion only lets us run one rent campaign at a time. So I picked 5 additional blogs that I also liked a lot and put their links below. So go by and check them out.

The Bloggin' Bizatch
Kimee's Daily Thoughts & Sporadic Nonsense
My Corner of the Web
In the Third Person
Scooter McGavin's 9th Green

Official Weigh Day - Week Three

2006-01-12T01:03:00.000-08:00

It's Official!! Current Weight loss to day is 34 lbs. That’s 7 lbs since last Wednesday. It seems I am loosing about one pound a day. That’s pretty cool. I would love to break the 40 lbs gone by Feb 1. This is my next Dr. Appointment when I will be released to more exercise and soft foods. I am counting the days :)

I can feel subtle changes every day. I actually walked two miles a couple of days ago and had no pain and didn’t have breathing issues. It was absolutely amazing. I can take the stairs more often with no problems and my body is beginning to feel different. It is quite a transformation.

I will be going through my cloths and ebaying the big ones so I can buy smaller ones on eBay.

Until next time :)

What a discovery!!!

2006-01-09T23:37:00.000-08:00

Well, I was digging through the cloths in my closet and I came across a pair of jeans that I have not been able to wear for more than a year and GUESS WHAT!!!!! They Fit perfectly… This makes two pant sizes down in three weeks. Just when I begin to grow weary of this painful liquid diet something really cool happens and I think of the famous phrase… “Nothing tastes as good and Thin is going to feel” I am so excited!!

By the way, unofficially I am down 30 lbs as of today. I will give you the official weight on Wednesday.

Till then.

Those Pesky Food Demons

2006-01-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

Well, today has been especially hard concerning food. The demons are off their break and are out in full force. I have been easily agitated and grumpy. Really today is the day I should lock myself in my room and not come out.
Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to eat just anything. I would love to eat something healthy. I just want to have some solid food. A scrambled egg, some ground turkey, anything on my soft foods menu starting in February. Some grilled chicken and veggies would be nice too. Although when I pass the bad places (i.e. McDonalds, Jack -n- the Box) I want to turn in but I don’t want to eat what they have. I don’t know it is really quite disturbing. So I went to the grocery store to stock up on some things for work. I got some sugar free hot chocolate, 1% milk, cream soups and grits. These things are on my list so I won’t be stuck with just some double milk all night long. I just had one ounce of SF chocolate pudding and the demon seems to be subsiding now.

Three more weeks to go until I can start eating soft foods. I look forward to those days. I know Dr. Naaman has us on liquids for 6 weeks for a reason. The longer I am on them the more I think it is because of the food demons. Maybe by the end of this I will have adjusted to the new way of eating (5 or 6 small meals a day) and I will transition back to food with grace. I trust the Dr knows what he is doing so I will continue my liquid diet and fight the demons one at a time.

Image from: http://arania.kamiki.net/sabintpacontest.htm

Decisions… Decisions… New Renter

2006-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

There is a new renter in town and you should really check out her blog.

I can’t tell you how hard it was to pick just one. I wanted to rent to all of the bidders.

Infinitely Pie’s Blog is funny and creative. A great place to spend some time. Give her a click and let her know The Catapillar Sent ‘cha

I am a Renter

2006-01-07T02:34:00.000-08:00

I just rented a spot on Blogging Under Protests Blog site. It's pretty good. Swing by and check it out. Tell 'em The Catapillar Sent 'cha :)

The Plan

2006-01-07T02:22:00.000-08:00

My son and I have been discussing life changes. He wants to participate with me so we are on the same page. He is so cool. Here is a short breakdown of the changes we want to make:

Eat less red meat (I can’t anyway)
Eat less fatty foods
Stay clear of fried or greasy foods
Exercise 6 days a week
Prepare food in lue of buying canned foods (or can it ourselves)
Stop watching TV so much
Stop procrastinating
Less eating out
Drink Lots of Water

So the research begins I will be spending lots of time finding good recipes to make at home. I am going to be doing lots of meal planning. (if you have some good recipes I'd love to trade with you)

Our ultimate goal is to make a complete lifestyle change. I will keep you posted as to the new additions to the plan and to our progress.

Back at Work

2006-01-07T02:05:00.000-08:00

Well, Yesterday was my first day back to work. It was alright but I work the midnight shift so when you are off for two and a half weeks you kind of get back on a daytime schedule. So I was up for at least 24 hours. I have a pretty cool job. It is pretty laid back and very slow paced on the midnight shift. Unless there is a shuttle in space. It is also not very physically challenging. It is nice to start getting back into routine although; I did like the not working and getting paid for it just a little. By the end of the two weeks I was going a bit stir crazy. God its good to be out of the house for a while.

I have Joined a Web Ring

2006-01-05T01:04:00.000-08:00

I joined a WLS Journaling Ring. Scroll on down and surf some journals :)

My Three Angels

2006-01-05T00:40:00.000-08:00

What can I say My Mother, My Son and my Soul Sister (SS) have been so wonderful! My mother rented a hotel room near the hospital and we three went out to eat and to the hotel. She did that so we could be close by and not have to deal with rush hour traffic from Clear Lake to Memorial City.

We went to the Olive Garden for dinner. I tried to keep it light. I had some salad, half a bread stick and supa Toscana (my absolute favorite soup), and I couldn’t help my self I had one Italian sausage. After all an Italian cant not have some Italian food before she cant eat anymore. I also had a bite of SS’s and Mom’s dinner but it was just a small bite. Very good. Then I panicked. “What if all this food isn’t gone tomorrow? What am I going to do??? I contemplated purging just to be on the safe side then SS said that hot lemon water helps the digestive process. I HATE LEMON WATER but I was desperate so I squeezed two lemons in one cup of hot water and I took it. I guess it worked the doctor said the next day that all went well and no one said anything about food being in there. Whew (wiping the sweat off my brow).

Anyway, mom and ss were by my side the entire time (at least when they were allowed to be). SS moved me into her den afterwards and cared for me, made sure I had a shot glass of some kind of liquid every 15 minutes, gave me my medicine on time, emptied my drain and yes she even gave me a bath TWICE!!! She never complained one time. I can’t tell you guys enough how much she means to me (even when she isn’t taking care of me).

On Christmas Eve my Wonderful Mother picked me up from SS’s house and we went to hers to spend Christmas. I figured SS needed a break anyway and she had a billion people coming over on Christmas. My mother was also a great care giver. Even though she herself isn’t in the best of health she made sure everything I needed was available to me.

My 12 year old son is so awesome. He was helping me and My other angels take care of me. He would bring me water, put on my shoes (I couldn’t bend very well) and tie them and walk with me. He is such a great Kid. I love him so much!!!!

God has blessed me with wonderful Angels the best I believe and I thank him every night for giving them to me.

Image from http://www.thepreacherman.com/threeangels.html

Official Weigh Day - Week Two

2006-01-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

I have picked Wednesday to be my official weekly weigh in. Mainly because my surgery was on Wednesday. So you wanna know what it is??? Drum roll please....

Started / Current / Goal
283/256/145

Which makes a grand total of 27 pounds in Two Weeks..... WOW I can hardly believe it.

The Food demons have been busy with someone else the last couple of days and I am grateful for that. I have not cried or been hungry at all. I really like that. I have been forcing myself to have a little something. My head is finally getting used to not eating out of shear boredom. I have made my "double milk" with some hot chocolate and cooled it to get my protein in so we are all good there and I have been taking my vitamins (as regularly as possible). Until next time.... Have a great 2006

Mind over Matter

2006-01-02T22:51:00.000-08:00

Wow! This is a fantastic journey. I have already lost 25 pounds and it has not even been two weeks. I know it wont keep coming off this fast but to start it is awesome!!!

Some of the battles that I have been facing lately are pretty hard to deal with. They are as follows:

Head Hunger vs. Real Hunger – Trying to discern the difference is a challenge to say the least. Your head sure can be demanding. I find it quite amazing that I am able to with stand the “eating” urges. Prior to surgery I would say “oh one bite wont hurt” and similar. Well at this point one bite could hurt a lot. Thank God for the tool.
The Habit of Eating – I quit smoking in November of 04. I am pretty proud of the fact that I was actually able to kick it. And As I am working on kicking the Eating habit I realize that this is a very difficult thing to do. As much as it sound crazy it’s even harder than quitting smoking. At least with smoking you don’t have to partake. All you have to do is say no and it won’t kill you. As a matter of fact it’s better for you. But with eating… … … You can’t just quit that. It is required by nature that you eat and so it is in the control that the breakdown occurs.

Also, my habit is to eat when I am out… If I am at home I don’t have as much of the problem. I will eat before I leave to ensure I don’t skip a meal and when I am out every restaurant I see I want to stop. Just out of habit. Well at least we know how I got here to begin with.
Remembering to take my Vitamins – Wow learning a new habit can be difficult I have been remembering twice a day until yesterday. I didn’t even get one in today I was at my mothers and didn’t have them with me.
Getting in all of my water – I feel like I drink and drink but I don’t think it is enough. I guess once I feel like I am going to float away I have had enough water :).
Worry… Worry… Worry… – I have worried so much about eating too much when I feel full or about failing because the last thing in the world I want to do is fail and not doing it right and getting in all of my protein and so much more it is crazy…

Other wise dealing with my food demon seems to be the hardest and it is getting easier.

New Blog Renter

2005-12-31T01:58:00.000-08:00

Wow!! So many offers and only one can be accepted. If you bid please bid again!!!

I picked a pretty good one and a little close to my heart. Check out "Aspiring Plus Model and Actress Loses Weight" This is one girls journey in Weight loss and very good too.

Stop on by and let her know The Catapillar Sent 'cha!

Official Weigh Day - Week One

2005-12-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

I went to Dr Naaman’s today to have this stinking drain removed. This has been the most uncomfortable part this last week. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Naaman uses a drain because he can see leaks (if we drink blue Gatorade) so it is a good thing just uncomfortable. Anyway, we weighed me today and the results are astounding.

Started / Current / Goal
283/263/145

Which makes a grand total of 20 pounds in ONE Week..... I never thought that this would happen!!

I figured a few pounds but I did notice something. My glorious ankles were returning to me. My ankles and calves were no longer swollen and they looked like the ankles I had before. It is so awesome I can’t even describe it.

I am excited to see my long term results. I will post picks on the 21^st so you can see the differences.

I'm A looser!!!

2005-12-26T23:31:00.000-08:00

Well Surgery was a great success. So far there have been no complications. I was actually out of the hospital the next day.... lots more details to come later.

T - 1day and counting....

2005-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the day.

Blog Renter!!!

2005-12-13T06:04:00.000-08:00

Click on the thumbnail to the right and you will be in the realm of two sistas and a dude. funny stuff you have to check them out! :)

Thanks TS&D for renting my blog. :)

God's support

2005-12-13T04:44:00.000-08:00

Well, Today I go for my second appointment with Dr. Naaman’s office and then to the hospital for the pre-op work and pre-registration. I can’t believe that in 8 days i will undergo surgery. I know it is my choice but it is still kind of surrealistic.

This entire process for me has really gone quite smoothly and with each passing turn it has been made clear that God has played a real part in this and that I am on the right track. I often wondered if this was Gods plan or if I was moving forward with something that he did not support. Well, there are many reasons why I think this is where I need to be.

First, the level of support and encouragement I have received. Most people I have talked to or read their journals describe experiences with people who are against this. They tell of rejection, ridicule and lack of support. I have been truly blessed with the fact I have not experienced this. My whole family and all of my friends have expressed their support. Now if they don’t agree they did not tell me this. Even my acquaintances through work or play that i have talked have been positive. This has to be a God thing.

Second, the whole process of preparing for this surgery has gone so smoothly that it is almost unbelievable. After consulting with a bariatric physician I went to my PCP Dr. Gerard Gudarian. He was quite supportive too and with his support concerned. He ordered many tests and blood work to ensure that I am capable of first undergoing surgery and then recovering well. He never once put me down. It was a God thing.

Third, the insurance approval only taking 2 days!!! This insurance company has been difficult from the very beginning. They seem to use what ever stall tactic they can to not pay the claims that have been submitted. I have talked it out with many people (I might add at least their staff is receptive of all of this frustration with out getting upset themselves). They approved it so quick I couldn’t believe it. I was sure we were in for a battle. God working!

There have been signs all over the place that I am on the right track. It is such a blessing to have God be so supportive of my choice and it's also encouraging. So many signs not enouph time to type or read.

I can’t wait to be a looser.

I was approved!!

2005-12-09T02:13:00.000-08:00

Good Googly Moogly! My insurance has actually approved my request for surgery. On the first request at that! Merry Christmas from HAS!

I am totally beside myself! I am so happy that this tool is going to be provided to me. It feels a little surreal.

I am very excited and yet the fear is mounting… I understand that the national average of mortality is 1%. Which is inaccurate because the cause of death is not always sighted (pulmonary embolism is a problem anytime you go under anesthesia and not specific to Gastric Bypass). My Dr’s Average is only .04% which is a lot less then the national average and most of which was in fact embolism. I have complete faith and trust with Dr. Naaman. I have watched his web cast of the RnY surgery (see my links on the sidebar) which was more then gross but I have seen him in action. But you know there is always a chance. I will try not to dwell on that.

Wow the next 13 days are going to be the busiest. With everything that has to be done. I can hardly see when to sleep. Well I spoke to Amanda at Dr. Naaman’s office and I will be having surgery on 12/21 therefore to prepare I have an appointment with Dr. Naaman on the 13th as well as all the pre-op stuff that needs to be completed at the hospital at which time I will need to pay my fee’s. That’s not the half of it. This is the list of things I will be doing in preparation for surgery.

Not that I think I will need these it is only realistic to have the following ready:

Last Will and Testament
Letters to loved ones to be given only in the event of my death
Guardian established for my son
A list of phone numbers of friends given to my executor prior to surgery
Living Will

Ok the real stuff has been addressed now… On with the planning

I cannot wait until I am a real loser!

Be Blessed and thanks for all of your prayers and support.

New Blog Renter

2005-12-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone,

Check out my new Renter!!!! I find it most important to support our troops most especially during the holidays when they are so far from home defending our right to freedom!!!.

Stop in to see his blog and drop him a line!

Thanks Bunches gigotti for renting my Blog!!!

The letter went out today….

2005-12-06T01:40:00.000-08:00

December 5 2005

Ok, my tummy has been jumping around! I talked to Amanda at Dr. Naaman’s office today and my letter of medical necessity is ready to go to my insurance (health administration services HAS). The insurance sucks except that there is no exclusion to Bariatric Surgery thanks to my company! So I may just get a surgery date this year!!!! Anyway, I would like to send Many thanks to you for taking a small moment to everyone who says a little prayer to whomever you pray too that I will be approved.

The Consultation

2005-12-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

November 22, 2005

What an interesting day this was. I had my nutritional appointment today as well (since they are both on the same side of town) and my consultation was at 1pm the really bad thing about that today was that I had to fast from not only food but any water. So I was up early and could not eat or drink until what wound up being 2:00. Good Lord I was thirsty! Thirsty! Thirsty!

You may or may not be asking yourself now “Why would you fast from everything?” Well I needed to be tested for that wonderful bacterium H-Pylori (Helicobacter pylori). This ugly little guy is the main cause of Peptic ulcers of the stomach and plays a very big part in acid reflux. Which I have suffered for far too long now (about 4 years).

Testing for H-Pylori was quite interesting. When I tested at my PCP’s office they took blood. Well today I was given a little pill that looked to be a capsule of little yellow Styrofoam balls. With it I had to drink a shot glass of warm water. Then 5 minutes later I had to drink another shot glass of warm water and after waiting another 5 minutes I was required to blow up a small balloon through a straw. Very interesting indeed. Anyway, the normal person has around 50 h-pylori’s and me (being abnormal) had over 1100!!!!! 1100!!!!! That SUCKS! So I am taking prevpack to fix the problem. After all, we wouldn’t want to get an ulcer in a 2oz tummy would we?

I have to say that I have been blessed with a wonderful mother! She and my son both wanted to make sure that I was ok and wanted to meet the Dr for themselves so they felt comfortable with him performing surgery on me. My SS would have come and wanted to but she needed to work, Mom and the boy were coming so I was cool. My mother is such a wonderfully supportive woman. She amazes me all the time.

Dr. Naaman was pretty cool. He went over the surgery with me and asked if I had any questions. The only question I had was his mortality rate. I asked it and he answered without skipping a beat or even acting irritated. I know that is what he is supposed to do but you know some Dr.s may get offended. His answer was .04%... I then asked how many patients that equaled. He responded that equaled 6 people had died. The last question was what the cause of their deaths was. The primary cause was embolism. Ok, these were the questions that were not answered (because I didn’t ask them) at the seminar. These were also the questions that my mother had so she was feeling lots better too.

I cant begin to describe how wonderful the staff is there. They are friendly, knowledgeable and just down to earth. It was easy to make jokes and feel right at ease with them. If you live in or around Houston Dr. Naaman is a wonderful surgeon and I think that you should check him out if you are considering this option for weight loss.

By the Way found this wonderful site you must check out Giant Microbes. They ROCK!!!

Nutritional Class

2005-11-29T12:43:00.000-08:00

November 22, 2005

Although it is ok to go to any nutritionalist that deals with Bariatric patients Dr. Naaman’s Office requested that we attend the one offered at Memorial hospital. This is the last step for my consult with the Dr. so I called them up and asked that we do it on the same day since the drive is pretty far from home. They are so considerate. They gave me the number to make my appointment and say call back afterwards to make the consultation appointment on the same day.

The nutritional consultation turns out to be in a class format. They do it like that because at this point we are all on the same page. (We all being Dr. Naaman’s patients.) Once we have surgery we will be going back to the Nutritionalist for an individualized plan. This one goes over the differences of diet requirements and shows example menus for after surgery and so on. My Nutritional appointment was at 9:15am and the consultation was at 1pm. I had to fast with not even a drink of water for the DR. appointment I didn’t like that but it was a great test of my character. I could not even have water! That sucked!!!

My check in process was quite frustrating. The Hospital schedules the appointment so I didn’t talk to the nutritional office when I set up the appointment. I received an email that gave me the instruction to be there at 9:15 am or I would have to reschedule. Those of you in Houston or who know me understand that I cannot judge time to save my life. It seems to be one of the things that slip through my fingers and I cannot control it or predict it. So 9:15 to most people seems pretty reasonable. And it is. However, in character with my not being able to judge time I thought that being the week of thanksgiving traffic would not be very bad and I could make it in one hour without paying on the Beltway… Ha Ha Ha… not the case at all I was unfortunate to find out…. It seems most people are still working that week. To my chagrin! Anyway, it took almost an hour to get from less than 3 miles through down town Houston and then the never ending construction on I10 was horrendous. What the Heck was I thinking? How could I have been so dumb? Whatever! The damage was done and I was stuck. I began to steadily get more and more disgruntled and started my typical stress road rage by yelling in the car at the stupid drivers on the freeway as if they could really hear me. You know the ones who can’t drive! Or the ones who are mean and wont let you over in the next lane because God forbid one single little car going the same speed as everyone else will make them at the very least 10 minutes late. Or this is the only thing they can control so by God they will control not letting anyone in the lane in front of them! Whatever!

Arriving at the hospital and being in a parking space (which was free to my surprise) by 9:20. We jumped out of the car and walked/ran as fast as we could to get into the check in area. When I made my appointment they told me to go to the EAST wing and check in…. So I parked at the Gessner entrance and went to check in. EAST wing my butt. I had to book it to the WEST wing of a hospital that spanned at least two blocks it was almost 9:30 by the time we got to the right place. My son was amazed he said he had never seen me run like that before and my calves and knees were burning like I had just dipped them in fire. I arrived at the information desk and told them why I as here and everyone was looking at the crazy fat lady who couldn’t breath trying to talk it was quite amusing when I started to think about it. Then she told me it didn’t start until 10am. 10AM!!!!! I almost had a heart attack trying to get there on time and it didn’t start until 10AM!!!! Man that sucked and it was great all at the same time! I was not going to have to reschedule.

First let me say that I have had a bad morning until now and this next part didn’t help. However the wonderful woman who checked me in took my attitude and frustration in stride and never let it get to her. She was AWESOME!! She really did make the process much better for me and the day began to turn around. By the end I was apologizing for myself man I felt bad. I was also misinformed that there would be no fee involved and my insurance was going to pay for this class. Oh how wrong they were! I had to pay 105.24 or something crazy like that. Now its 3 days to payday and I know for a fact there is not enough money to cover that and my debit/credit card will be denied with a big fat NO so I said wait a second here they told me it would not cost anything. I don’t want to pay. She said politely that the insurance usually does not pay for this part because you have to be responsible for some part so they know you really want it. So I pulled out my checkbook and said who do I make it out to? Well she said it would be electronically put in and then I cried… how was I going to pay (because I couldn’t go if I didn’t) I told her my dilemma and asked if she could let me go to the class because my mother would be there afterward and she would pay for it. She couldn’t do that so I was going to call my mother and get her credit card number but I though we would try the check first to see if it would work. PRAISE GOD it went through!!!! I couldn’t believe it and the lady behind the desk smiled and said well I guess that means you are meant to be here. Halleluiah!!! Its true first with the late thing and then with the money thing I know God was with me and supporting me through this.

So with a sigh of relieve and a really big apology I returned to my seat and awaited the class. The class only had about 5 people in it so it was nice to be able to participate and I was dieing for some water!!!!