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::Be the Butterfly::
A Journey in Metamorphosis
::Author::  Name::The Catapillar From::Houston, Texas My cacoon has begun to shed and I can see a glimps of the butterfly. I had Rny Gastric Bypass on 12/21/05 and these are my chroniclings... Weight Stats: Begining/Current/Goal 283/187/140 Butterfly Image from: http://www.tropicaldaystar.com View my complete 
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 Nutritional Class November 22, 2005 Although it is ok to go to any nutritionalist that deals with Bariatric patients Dr. Naaman’s Office requested that we attend the one offered at Memorial hospital. This is the last step for my consult with the Dr. so I called them up and asked that we do it on the same day since the drive is pretty far from home. They are so considerate. They gave me the number to make my appointment and say call back afterwards to make the consultation appointment on the same day.  The nutritional consultation turns out to be in a class format. They do it like that because at this point we are all on the same page. (We all being Dr. Naaman’s patients.) Once we have surgery we will be going back to the Nutritionalist for an individualized plan. This one goes over the differences of diet requirements and shows example menus for after surgery and so on. My Nutritional appointment was at 9:15am and the consultation was at 1pm. I had to fast with not even a drink of water for the DR. appointment I didn’t like that but it was a great test of my character. I could not even have water! That sucked!!! My check in process was quite frustrating. The Hospital schedules the appointment so I didn’t talk to the nutritional office when I set up the appointment. I received an email that gave me the instruction to be there at 9:15 am or I would have to reschedule. Those of you in Houston or who know me understand that I cannot judge time to save my life. It seems to be one of the things that slip through my fingers and I cannot control it or predict it. So 9:15 to most people seems pretty reasonable. And it is. However, in character with my not being able to judge time I thought that being the week of thanksgiving traffic would not be very bad and I could make it in one hour without paying on the Beltway… Ha Ha Ha… not the case at all I was unfortunate to find out…. It seems most people are still working that week. To my chagrin! Anyway, it took almost an hour to get from less than 3 miles through down town Houston and then the never ending construction on I10 was horrendous. What the Heck was I thinking? How could I have been so dumb? Whatever! The damage was done and I was stuck. I began to steadily get more and more disgruntled and started my typical stress road rage by yelling in the car at the stupid drivers on the freeway as if they could really hear me. You know the ones who can’t drive! Or the ones who are mean and wont let you over in the next lane because God forbid one single little car going the same speed as everyone else will make them at the very least 10 minutes late. Or this is the only thing they can control so by God they will control not letting anyone in the lane in front of them! Whatever! Arriving at the hospital and being in a parking space (which was free to my surprise) by 9:20. We jumped out of the car and walked/ran as fast as we could to get into the check in area. When I made my appointment they told me to go to the EAST wing and check in…. So I parked at the Gessner entrance and went to check in. EAST wing my butt. I had to book it to the WEST wing of a hospital that spanned at least two blocks it was almost 9:30 by the time we got to the right place. My son was amazed he said he had never seen me run like that before and my calves and knees were burning like I had just dipped them in fire. I arrived at the information desk and told them why I as here and everyone was looking at the crazy fat lady who couldn’t breath trying to talk it was quite amusing when I started to think about it. Then she told me it didn’t start until 10am. 10AM!!!!! I almost had a heart attack trying to get there on time and it didn’t start until 10AM!!!! Man that sucked and it was great all at the same time! I was not going to have to reschedule. First let me say that I have had a bad morning until now and this next part didn’t help. However the wonderful woman who checked me in took my attitude and frustration in stride and never let it get to her. She was AWESOME!! She really did make the process much better for me and the day began to turn around. By the end I was apologizing for myself man I felt bad. I was also misinformed that there would be no fee involved and my insurance was going to pay for this class. Oh how wrong they were! I had to pay 105.24 or something crazy like that. Now its 3 days to payday and I know for a fact there is not enough money to cover that and my debit/credit card will be denied with a big fat NO so I said wait a second here they told me it would not cost anything. I don’t want to pay. She said politely that the insurance usually does not pay for this part because you have to be responsible for some part so they know you really want it. So I pulled out my checkbook and said who do I make it out to? Well she said it would be electronically put in and then I cried… how was I going to pay (because I couldn’t go if I didn’t) I told her my dilemma and asked if she could let me go to the class because my mother would be there afterward and she would pay for it. She couldn’t do that so I was going to call my mother and get her credit card number but I though we would try the check first to see if it would work. PRAISE GOD it went through!!!! I couldn’t believe it and the lady behind the desk smiled and said well I guess that means you are meant to be here. Halleluiah!!! Its true first with the late thing and then with the money thing I know God was with me and supporting me through this. So with a sigh of relieve and a really big apology I returned to my seat and awaited the class. The class only had about 5 people in it so it was nice to be able to participate and I was dieing for some water!!!!  
I Have a Renter! Can you believe I actually figured out how to do the blogexplosion "Rent My Blog"? I know I am quite amazed by that fact. I have a tenant please check out her blog it is quite good. Thanks 3T!!!
November 11, 2005 My Soul Sister (SS) and I went to the Obesity Help Convention this month. It was pretty cool. There were speakers who spoke about everything from Surgery (Bariatric and Plastic) to living afterwards and keeping up with your maintenance plan. My favorite by far was the relationship/sex therapist. She had some really good things to say and a variety of adult “toys” for us to examine. It was funny to see so many red faces in the room. I was glad that my SS came with me because I always feel stronger with her around. I enjoyed sharing that experience with her. She was able to meet some people who had successfully gone through the surgery (some with the same Dr. as me) and get answers to her questions as well. It’s absolutely amazing how a room full of strangers can feel like a room full of friends. Everyone had or will go through the same thing. Each of them smiling at you and having conversations with you. Everybody looks you in the eye. That is so rare outside this group. You feel almost human again. I strongly suggest that you go to Obesity Help and find support there it is an awesome online community of Obese people. Even if you are not planning on having surgery…
 Good afternoon Blogland,I remember wanting to know what kinds of questions to ask. with research and living in the message boards I finally came up with mine.
What an Interesting word. I have spent lots of time in recent months trying to figure this word out. Well Morbid seems to be the root of it so it has to be something not so plesent. I have wondered what relation is has to death. Looking at fraises like “Morbid Curiosity” when looking at potentially fatal car accidents while driving down the road or “She has a morbid fascination” someone who may be most interested in death well. Ok so you can see my imagination was taking a Morbid tone (I’m so Punny J). I didn’t believe that I had the right understanding of this word Comorbidity… First lets look at the root of the word first according to http://www.dictionary.com/ Morbid (môr b d) adj. Of, relating to, or caused by disease; pathological or diseased. Psychologically unhealthy or unwholesome: “He suffered much from a morbid acuteness of the senses” (Edgar Allan Poe). Characterized by preoccupation with unwholesome thoughts or feelings: read the account of the murder with a morbid interest. Gruesome; grisly. I decided to find out what exactly “Morbidity” was before I looked up its “co”: mor·bid·i·ty (mô;r-bd-t) n. 1. The quality of being morbid; morbidness. 2. The rate of incidence of a disease. Finally the topic at had the infamous “Comorbidity” co·mor·bid·i·ty (k môr-b d -t ) n. According to dictionary.com it means this: A concomitant but unrelated pathological or disease process. I also looked it up at http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/ their definition was a little more detailed it was: The presence of coexisting or additional diseases with reference to an initial diagnosis or with reference to the index condition that is the subject of study. Comorbidity may affect the ability of affected individuals to function and also their survival; it may be used as a prognostic indicator for length of hospital stay, cost factors, and outcome or survival. Alright we will now get to the point. These are the Comorbidities that I have personally and is the main reason I chose this surgery. Loosing this weight will correct 99% of these issues. Known High Cholesterol Chronic Deterioration of lumbar spine Joint disorders Pinched Sciatic Nerve Shortness of Breath Depression GERD Sleep Apnea Psychosocial impairments Suspected High Blood Pressure Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Diabetes runs in family Pseudotumor cerebri Chronic fatigue Acne and other skin Disorders These are the reasons I chose surgery.... Just in case you were wondering
Psychological Evaluation (pt 2) June 3, 2005: With a friend I chose to bring my Best Friend/Soul Sister (ss) to the appointment because after all she knows me the best and for a bonus in choosing her she works in the clinic so it was less stressful in setting up the appointment date. My SS and I arrived and went in to see Dr. Saad (we called ahead to sign in so we didn’t have to wait in the office for 3 hours). He talked to her mostly asking if she thought that I was capable of making this decision and if she thought I knew what I was in store for. During this process I listened and once again was reassured that God truly blessed me by putting her in my life. I knew that she did not really want me to get this surgery. But she still will support my choice and she has never made me feel like a failure or moron for it. I know your reading this SS :) I love you Well to sum up Dr. Saad wrote the letter and stated that he felt I was able to decide and to succeed with WLS.
May 13, 2005 I met with Dr. Saad who has his office with my PCP. He is a nice man and seemed to care. He asked me a series of questions and I answered. I told him why I wanted surgery in lue of the more traditional methods of weight loss. As suspected I am a little on the depressed side and he offered a prescription of anti depressants. I thanked him and said that I don’t need any at this time. I can work through it on my own. Dr. Saad does this interview in two sessions one with me and one with a friend or family member. I scheduled my next appointment. I do have to say the 3 hour wait to see him was a bit unbearable.
June 17, 2005 Tale of the CPAP experience: I’d like to say that since my study I have seen Frank out at Denny’s many times. We go there for lunch (which is at 2:30am since I work the midnight shift). Ok, I am back again at SA Sleep Solutions This time with a CPAP machine strapped to my face I made sure that Frank was working because I know him and I have a rapport with him. Dan is the other tech and little did I know he was one of the guys that we saw with Frank at Denny’s. He came to work after I had already fallen asleep. I think I did fart this time. At least I think I woke up with a little toot but I didn’t ask this time. I just figured oh well, if it happens it happens. The CPAP machine allowed me to sleep the entire night without snoring and with my mouth closed the entire night. Damn I didn’t think that could happen. I also woke up feeling more rested then ever before. RESULTS: I have to sleep with a CPAP Machine. Let me tell you it takes a lot of getting used to and I don't use it like I should.
May 20, 2005 Ok, Sleep Study is a bunch more interesting than any of the other things that I have described. Oh Well, I guess I will just say it. I know that I snore and I am pretty sure that sleep apnea plagues me but my biggest fear is the technician who watches me sleep is a cute guy and I will fart in my sleep. I mean really how embarrassing would that be. When I scheduled my study I was talking to the woman on the phone and I asked here if they record the should. She said not audio but they have it on paper. Well, explained my dilemma and she giggled and said not to worry they here lots of stuff. I said I understand that but you haven’t heard me fart in my sleep... more giggles Ok, well I get to my appointment a little late.(You know I am still nervous). I know the technician is a man. I brought Tylenol pm just in case. Come to find out the Tech is cute as well as someone I went to high school with… DOUBLE WAMMY. His name is Frank. I cant believe I did it but I asked him if he heard lots of people fart in their sleep and he said that I would be amazed at what he hears while people are sleeping. Ok, that did not make it any better than it already was. Well, Frank and I had very awesome conversations while he prepared me with the many wires and connections for my journey into slumber with someone watching…. I am so sure! I didn’t even think I could fall asleep (good thing I brought a book). Iwas out in 30 minutes to my surprise. I was awoken by the extremely noisy other patient who had completed his study and frank could tell by his monitoring tools and came in promptly. They got a good 7 hours of data. I asked the big question… “Um, Did I fart in my sleep” Frank smiled and said no and he was disappointed because he wanted to hear me blow. I giggled and he smiled. If he did he sure didn’t let me know and that’s cool. Over all it was an interesting experience. I made a new friend and had someone watch me sleep. That’s just weird… RESULTS: Must go back for a sleep study with a cpap machine.
May 14, 2005 So I went on May 14th and did the two hour orange soda test. With lots of blood being drawn. < The results of this test were I DON’T HAVE DIABETES… which is a good thing. My Dr. wants to monitor my blood to make sure I don’t develop diabetes in the next few months
April 27, 2005 My Stress test indicated that I have a low tolerance for exercise and I am at high risk for thoracic surgery. I was quite concerned when I saw this, as the thorax is the trunk of your body. But my Dr. said it should be ok
April 27, 2005 My Echo Cardio gram went well. The Dr. said that my heart had good “Squeeze” and she didn’t think I would have any problems during surgery.
Why is it when someone who doesn’t have a weight problem sees you they have to tell you that a diet will help or they automatically say “Well, put your fork down”. Its like they are pointing out a bugger in your nose or spinach in your teeth. They look at you with that look of “I’m your friend and I just saved you embarrassment”. Well I know that they are not my friends. They don’t care if I die due to diabetes, sleep apnea or heart disease. They are just being ugly for the sake of being ugly. I am sick and tired of smug people acting as if I am less than human and I must also not have feelings since I am just a slug to them. So I take the other route. I will be the first to make the “fat” comment. I will say it loud so nobody can mistake the fact that I am acutely aware of my size… So now they look at me as if I have offended them and I should just keep my mouth shut. I personally would rather say it than hear it. And if it makes somebody uncomfortable then I know that I have pre-empted their strike. This has inspired a poem. I'll warn you now I am no writer but sometimes the erge hits me: This Mask The mask I wear is not obvious to the average human Only someone with the same mask will recognize This mask is not who I am but how I feel Sometimes I can’t even believe it is real The mask is dedicated to my broken heart False Protection generated a scared mind How will I be hurt when no one wants to see who I am? But does it really protect when you look at me in disgust? When you say things that stab my soulWho are you anyway? You don’t even know me! How could you? You won’t even try! Passing judgment on me with no account to who I am Would you say these things if the mask were off? Could you be so cruel to someone who fits in? No, you wouldn’t would you because your heart is black. My hole is dug deep down into the ground As it becomes deeper my mask is taking over. One day to claim the very life I am trying to protect. I am unable to become free. Why won’t anyone help me? What good is the mask to me now? I long to rid myself of this burden, to see and be seen again with desire. The day will come I can feel once more With or without approval I will be me again!
I have noticed that every time I begin looking for some WLS related information that I have in hard copy it becomes increasingly difficult to keep in order. My organizational skills leave a lot to be desired however the following is the process that I have begun to keep it all in order. Obtain a 1” to 1 ½” binder with pack of dividers. Label the following dividers as such
**I also obtained a copy of my folder with the PCP including all chart notes. I presented a folder complete with tabs to my Surgeons office and they said that having this organized the way I did made it very easy for them to put together the package for my insurance. If you surgeon requires you to get your info together (even if he/she doesn’t) KEEP A COPY OF EVERYTHING. You never know when it might come in handy.
I went to my PCP on April 22, 2005 to talk to him about WLS. This was the first time we had discussed it. He was very open and pro the idea. Dr. Guderian is one of the most kind Dr.’s and I am blessed to be his patient. He wanted to be sure that I am capable of undergoing surgery and has ordered an echo cardiogram and cardio stress test. At the same time I told him of Dr. Ferrari’s requests and he went ahead and ordered the sleep study, Physiological Evaluation and the other blood work. OBESITY MOMENT: While I was at the Dr.s office a horrible Medical Assistant in training took my weight and decided to announce it to the world by saying out loud “OH! IT’S RIGHT AT 279”. Taken aback by the situation I stepped off the scale, reached for my purse and looked her in the eye and said “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD” She quickly apologized but the damage was done. My best friend works in the office there and came in to see me. At which time I broke into tears. How humiliating can you be? My friend quickly switched from Medical Credentialer to Patient advocate. The MA stated later she realized what she had done as soon as she did it and never meant to hurt anyone. I guess this is her first lesson in obesity sensitivity. Unfortunately, I was the one whom she had to learn from.
April 22, 2005 Well My PCP took my blood to do a full work up including my thyroid levels As expected my cholesterol was borderline high and my triglycerides and glucose were on the high end Apparently the combination of the two being high is a pre-cursor to diabetes Two years ago when I had the same tests performed everything was ok but my cholesterol. I am about 70lbs heavier now though I am sure that has something to do with the test results.
My Surgeon is Dr. Adam Naaman I have seen two doctors. Both having performed over 1500 R-n-Y gastric bypass surgeries. Each of them also have a very good reputation in Houston for bariatric Surgery. I visited Dr. Ferrari for the first time on March 31, 2005. He was very personable and sweet. For a potentially nerve racking experience his staff and he made it a very comfortable easy situation. His follow up patients in the waiting room were very nice and informative and had nothing but wonderful things to say about him. They were so fond of him I almost thought they were paid to sit in there and pump him up. They weren’t of course but they really loved him. Blanca (Dr. Ferrari’s nurse) was a breath of fresh air. She was knowledgeable and caring making my personal experience much easier. My only problem was financial. It seems because of my insurance, Heath Administration Services (HAS), I must pay $4,000 out of pocket because the lifetime cap of $30,000 isn’t enough to cover the hospital and the doctor so the Dr will be paid his fees up front. However, if HAS pays his fees I will receive a refund. I wasn't quite sure about that. I needed an actual break down of hospital fees and such but his staff was unable to provide that information. I dont have that kind of money and to save it up would take too long. I had heard from a few people who have had surgery that Dr. Adam Naaman was awsome so I gave them a call. Amanda was able to break down all the costs for me after hearing the name of my insurance provider and I was instantly relieved. I attended Dr. Naaman’s Seminar in April. The seminar was very informative. Kimberly the Bariatric coordinator at Memorial Hospital in Houston TX, started out and gave an overview of the class and answered questions. Dr. Naaman came in and discussed what surgeries were available from his office and what he expected from his patients. After his presentation he held a Q&A session. He patiently answered each of our questions completely with honesty. The Q&A session lasted about 90 minutes and Dr. Naaman never once looked at his watch. I really found that to be a comforting factor and for me the most impressive. Dr. Ferrari's Orders Psychological Evaluation Sleep Study Gallbladder Ultrasound Cardiology: Echocardiogram, Shortness of breath, Hypertension Tests General: Cbc, t3 t4 tsh, lipid profile, h. pylori, fasting glucose with 2 hr post pandrial, gastritis, fatigue Tests Nutritionist (per Insurance) Dr. Naaman's Orders I was provided a packet of information at the seminar that detailed what my insurance carrier was going to ask for. I have recently completed all of the items on both Dr. Ferrari's list and the Packet from Dr. Naaman (many of them overlapped) except the gallbladder ultrasound. Most will be detailed in later posts. Have an Awesome Holiday!
.... a picture that is. I am not sure if you are obese but in my life and having been obese and now morbidly obese the camera is a mortal enemy. To see a picture of myself is one of the most horrifying things on the planet. So here they are for posterity the "BEFORE" Shots... The View from the Front
On the left now...
"About Face"
Right turn here
When I look at the above pictures my mind is shocked. For so long I have lived in some form of delusion that my body is just not that big. I hear that a lot of people after undergoing surgery and loosing massive amounts of weight still look at themselves as "Fat" its kind of like your mind translates to what it is used to seeing. I have always been over weight most of the time by only about 20 to 50 lbs. I had a baby in 93 (in a size 9 when I got pregnant) and I maintained between a 14 and 18 for about 6 years. In 2002 I started to wear a 20 and slowly over the last 3 years I grown to a 24. To see those words in black and white and to admit that in itself is very tough thing to do. I quit smoking Nov 1, 2004 and gained 30 lbs in less than 6 months. THAT FRIGGIN' SUCKS!!!! So here they are friends, the before pictures. I will post photos monthly after surgery just so we can keep track :)
Happy Thanksgiving  As I sit here and begin this journal I remember that today is Thanksgiving. I try to remember to give thanks throughout the year but sometime I get side tracked. I am grateful for this day to remind us of just how much we have. I have often been caught up in the drama of life and am depressed thinking of the things I wish I had but don’t, when this starts I will stop and remember all of the things that I do have… I am very Thankful most for the following: My Parents both direct and extended have blessed me in so many ways. I have always known that they are a gift from God. I give thanks everyday for thier love and support. My Soul Sister what can I say about her. She keeps me accountable and for that I am so grateful. Providing a system of support that I know will never falter. She and I were not born of the same blood but I know we were born of the same soul. My Friends have remained life long relationships that I cherish and I am thankful that. My Job is AWSOME!! I have a wonderful boss and excellent co-workers. I know that God gave me this job just as a gift. There are so many other things that I am Thankful for I cant begin to list them. What are you thankful for?????
 I would like to take this time to express my extreme gratitude to my Family and Friends. Each of you has supported my decision to have surgery without judgment and for that I feel truly Blessed. I know that through you I will maintain my strength to proceed and succeed. God has blessed me beyond what I am worth to have you in my life! To say thank you will never be enouph...
I have always been on the larger end of the crowd. Although not obese in school from Jr. High on I have always had extra lbs. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my wonderful son and had him when I was 19. My pregnancy was a risky one as I was in pre-term labor and dialating from 6 months on. This information is important because to boost my sons lung growth the doctor began a steroid regiment and I received five doses. This is where I believe my problem started. I was a size 9 when my son was conceived and at the peek of my pregnancy I weighed 230. After delivering my gift from God I was in a 14/16. Try as I might I only maintained this size for a few years. Buy five years out I was in an 18…. In 2000 I was semi successful with the Dr. Atkins diet having lost 50lbs in 3 months. Dropping from an 18 to a 14. That was awesome but it never stayed off. Then I gained it back…. In much uglier places and was an 18/20. Trying to loose but only maintaining I remained around this size (between 18 and 20) until recently (now a 22 to 26). I quit smoking in November of 2004. at the behest of my angel but during this process have added an extra 30 lbs to my girth. (I am still a non smoker more than a year out) I have battled acid reflux and back pain for quite some time but this extra poundage has caused constant reflux (all I have to do is smell food), knee troubles (they can barely hold me up) and more severe back pain (I cant stand for more than 10 minutes without pain). This is where I am today. I weigh 279 and cant participate in life without feeling pain, emotional and physical. I want to get the RNY Gastric Bypass to help improve my quality of life as well as my families. My son asked me to quit smoking to live and this is what I have asked of myself.
This Blog has been established to chronicle my journey into Gastric Bypass. A first look view of my transformation from the catapillar to a butterfly. I hope this journal will help people who have had Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) of any kind or people who are looking into it. I have researched this surgery for a year and started the process at the beginning of this year. I drug my feet somewhat through the summer I guess mostly because it is kind of a scary thing. I have recently seen my Surgeon Dr. Adam Naaman who is AWSOME!! Please comment as you feel the need....
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